I will admit that I’ve shared personal things here. As strange as it may sound, it’s easier to share things in such an anonymous forum.
I might have seen some of you on the street, but not known it. I might have run into you on vacation, but there was no judgment.
Sometimes, it’s good to vent, to get it out, and in a forum like this I don’t worry about judgment, or offending a close friend, or family member.
In life, we all go through ugly. If you don’t, I would ask if you’re really living, but anyways. Some things are uglier than others, and a nasty divorce when you have children is one of the ugliest.
But I’m telling you, having been there…keep it off Facebook.
Especially, if there are lawyers involved. If you put something out there, your friends are going to see it. Chances are, it WILL get back to your ex, and then all you need is a nasty lawyer to bring it up in court, and guess who looks bad?
Constantly posting all the intimate details of your divorce/separation can lead to loss of friends, even custody if you aren’t careful.
Someone I know is dealing with this now, and though we aren’t close, the fact that she is constantly bad mouthing her soon to be ex, sharing intimate details, etc…well, that’s making me think less of HER.
Am I right to feel that way? I don’t know.
My divorce from my first husband was relatively easy. I was young, and looking back now I believe I was clinically depressed, and though there are other issues, they weren’t important at the time. What WAS important to me, was getting better for my boys.
My trouble came later. Our boys were older (by ours- I mean Roy and I, he is Corey and Joe’s father in every sense but biological) and understood more. They inferred more, caught little things that a smaller child probably wouldn’t pick up on.
And that made it harder for us. I had to watch what I said at every turn, how I said what I said. My ex had no problem dragging me through the mud with the boys, but Roy reminded me NOT to go down that road. To show them that wasn’t necessary, and that one day the boys would see what was going on.
And they did. It’s a sad thing to see your children grasp the fact that one of their parents isn’t who they thought they were.
But I didn’t think it was my job to point out the problems, it was my job to be there for my children when they needed me…Period.
Slinging Mud on Facebook, or a blog, or any other social media site, might make you feel good for a moment, but by doing that, you are doing exactly what no one wants.
You are putting your kids in the middle.
Younger children might not ever see what you write about the other parent, but is it worth it to take the chance?
Telling every person on your ‘friend’ list the intimate details of your divorce is putting them in the position of potential witnesses-and lying in court shouldn’t be an option. And again, guess who looks bad?
If you want to vent about a divorce, or a crappy spouse..by all means, vent away, but think about where you’re venting, and who might end up hearing.
