I have been seeing A LOT of commercials for Infiniti’s JX35 Crossover.  It’s a snazzy ride.  Granted, I don’t know anything about cars for the most part, but a car that will stop if something rolls behind you when you are in reverse and can then turn around and make dinner reservations for you!  NICE!

I have been curious as to pricing and have been thinking of upgrading in a few years. I was curious if this would be on my short list.

“Mama!” Dean has already started the whine.

“What Dean?” I have a man voice going on today according to Roy.  Not sure if I’m getting sick (I HATE summer colds!) or if it’s just allergies.

“Can I play Skylanders, please?”  Dean did say please. And if he occupies himself for a bit with his game, maybe I can get some writing done.

“Ok, sure.  I think Mommy is gonna price an Infiniti.” I stand up and move to get his PS3 controller.

“What you gonna do?” Dean asks me.

“Mommy wants to see how much this car costs.” I answer him.

“A Car?” he responds, “You gonna buy a car, Mama?”

“No, I’m just gonna look.  Mommy doesn’t know much about cars, so she can’t buy it by herself.”

“I know about cars.” Dean is sounding PRETTY cocky here.

“Oh, really?” I can’t wait to hear what he says, “Tell mommy about them.”

“Well….you drive them….”

I’m fully educated now.

-I have a BIG van.  It’s a 13 seater, a big green monster I call Godzilla.  We had an Expedition that I loved before this one, and yes, it was too small.  Too small you say?  Yes, too small.  We piled everyone in and drove to Florida one year…wasn’t pretty.  suitcases falling on the boys in the third row, stuff shoved under the seats.  Roy told me I had three options-the van, an Excursion or a Suburban.  At the time we had an Aztec, and since they were going to discontinue the Excursion, I didn’t want two defunct cars.  Everyone in my neighborhood had a Surburban, and a mini van was a non-starter.  Wasn’t even gonna consider it-so that left the Van.  I like it, and when all the seats are out, or even just the third and fourth row I am AMAZED at what I can get in it.  BUT, it’s a big car.  A long car, so when you are waiting for my parking spot at the store, you need to give me some room!  I’m not driving a Prius here people.  BACK UP, and I will gladly put my things away quickly so that you can have my spot.

-There is a gentleman that lives in our town.  I used to work with a lady that worked at a non-residential home for disabled adults.  She told me his name, and said that while he was ‘high functioning’ (I hope that is the right term) he was not able to hold a traditional job, and his mom was still working full time to pay for his insurance and care.  I would guess his age to be around my age, maybe a bit older.  Roy and I call him Smiles.  He is so friendly, always smiling and laughing.  He waves to you as you drive by, and if he sees you in McDonald’s he always has a kind word for you.  The other day, Joe had a doctor’s appointment.  As we were driving home, we saw Smiles on the corner waiting to cross the street.

“Mom?” Joe asked.

We were stopped at the light, so I turned to look at him.

“Do you know what is wrong with that gentleman?”

I told him what my friend had told me, and Joe nodded in understanding.

When we drove by, he waved at Roger (that is his given name) and gave him a big smile.  It warmed my heart.  Joe didn’t express pity for him, he didn’t remark on how sorry he is for this gentleman.  Instead, he just waved and smiled at him, like he would anyone else.  It made me proud to see that Joe could look beyond a disability and just see someone that enjoys seeing a friendly face.

-Had to run to the grocery store today.  Hayden is home today, and Dean usually comes with me.  We got one of those huge carts with a bench attached to the front, and I told both boys to sit down.  No running around.  We went in, and the boys asked nicely if we could go look at Skylanders.  We went back to the video game section and that should have been my first clue.  Dean chimed in, but he didnt’ jump off the bench to look around.  When he noticed a new Skylander, he just asked me quietly if I would buy it for him.  I handed it to him and gave him a kiss.  His chubby, little cheek was warm.  A few minutes later, he started coughing, but it sounded like he was doing his ‘fake cough.’  Lately he coughs loudly and calls me, looking for attention.  I thought he was ok, so I tried to just hurry along. And then it happened.

Dean clamps his little hand over his mouth.

“Mommy?” his voice is muffled, but I knew that look.  Hand over the mouth, cheeks puffing out, eyes wide.  Shoot!  I almost did what I always do, I cupped my hands under his mouth, as if catching a bunch of puke is going to make things so much easier.  My mind started working.  Which was closer-the restrooms up front or back?  Should I try to run with the cart, or tell Hayden to stay right here?  And then…

“EEWWW!  Gross, Mommy!”  I don’t think I’ve ever seen Hayden move that fast. “Mommy, Dean puked on the cracker box!”

“Mommy, I barfed.”  Yes, Dean thank you.  I was having a hard time placing that sour sickly smell.

So, here I am…Dean with puke all over him, puke on my hand, Hayden pretending he was going to hurl, and this lady comes over.

“Hi.  Is he ok?  Do you need any help?”

When Dean got sick, four others looked on in horror and ran the other way, but this lady just walked right up to us and asked if we were ok, and if there was anything she could do.

I didn’t get her name, and I know chances are she won’t see this, but I want to thank her anyways.  We figured things out, but just knowing someone was willing to ‘get her hands dirty to help.’ Well, that was just a really cool thing to do.

That’s what some friends of ours said in regards to our teens.

We have three teenagers at home.  WOW!  Three… just a few weeks ago it was two teenagers at home, and now we have three.

Anyways, we were talking about a woman we both know, and I mentioned that her daughter is VERY different when mommy is not around.  Jekyll and Hyde in fact, and I just don’t like that.  A few years ago this young lady was hounding Addi - calling him names, pushing him, etc.  When Addi finally spoke up, he was the bad one.  And while I understand he was partly at fault in that one instance, what about all the other instances?

Our friends comment was, “Yeah, but aren’t most kids like that? They are completely different when we’re not around.”

And I got to thinking, “Gosh, I hope our kids aren’t!”

I would be a fool to think that they don’t act a bit differently when they are with their friends.  They might cuss a bit more, talk about things they don’t normally talk about with mom and dad (video games and sex spring to mind), but I hope they aren’t a completely different person.

I hope they wouldn’t berate another child just because mom or dad isn’t there to remind them that it isn’t ok to do that.

I hope they wouldn’t pick fights just because we aren’t there to tell them that walking away is sometimes the best policy.

We hope they don’t engage in behaviors that they know wouldn’t be acceptable at home (drinking, unsafe sex, etc.), but if they do (in regards to drinking that is) we hope they don’t take it a step further and drive home.

I don’t know… I just don’t buy the whole “well, teens will be teens” as an excuse for poor behavior.  

Being a teenager isn’t an excuse for hurting someone else.  It isn’t an excuse for dismissing those that care about you, that love you.

How does being between the ages of 13 and 19 exempt you from behaving with some dignity, grace and respect?  How does being a teen mean you get a pass when it comes to rudeness?

Sure, I think when you are between the ages of 13 and 18 ( I say 18, because around that age many kids are in college, have moved out, or maybe even joined the military) it’s a good time to explore your boundaries.  It’s a good time to make mistakes (NOT act stupid) because most kids have someone there that can help them pick up the pieces.  Most kids have someone there that can explain what they did wrong and what they could do differently next time.

On the other hand, that doesn’t mean you get a free pass to behave like a jerk because someone is there to clean up your mess.

STOP!  I’m pretty sure it does… it did last time I checked!

Was just outside with my dog and Dean, and the two cars that drove by (the ONLY two cars that drove by) both ran the dang stop sign!

Seriously people… the big red octagon that says STOP on it in white letters means stop!

Both were teenagers… and I admit it, both times I yelled:

“That’s a stop sign!”

Don’t think they heard me though.

In Virginia, kids must wait until they are AT LEAST 16 and 3 months before they can get their license, and they must have held their learner’s permit for at least nine months.  They are to complete a classroom portion of driver’s ed and 45 hours of behind the wheel practice (at least 15 of those hours needs to be at night).  After they do this, they take a behind the wheel driver’s ed class.  If they pass that, they receive their temporary license.  WHEW!

And I am behind that.  I want the kids to be responsible drivers and understand that driving is a privilege, not a right.

Roy took Joe to the DMV about a month ago, and Joe got his permit.  He was so excited!  I guess Roy was feeling generous, and he let Joe drive his car. Just down our neighborhood streets.

But, to put this into perspective, Roy LOVES his car.  I mean loves it, like if his car was a woman, he would have left me for it by now. No, I am not upset, though I tease him mercilessly about it.  He works hard. All the cars we have owned in the past have been responsible, reliable family cars.  Nothing sexy, nothing fun.  Roy did his research, and this is actually a very safe car. And it’s hot!

Roy has had his car since August, and he has waxed and washed it more in that time than he has our van, and we have had it for almost 6 years.  If he is driving it, and it rains, he pulls into the garage (which he cleaned out and completely reorganized for his car), runs into the house for his special “car towels,” and dries it.  He LOVES his car, and I love that he loves his car.

So, now you know.

Joe’s 16th birthday is on Sunday.  Our little boy is turning 16; I can’t believe it!

We were sitting down last night, watching our new favorite show (Community. Have you seen it?  If not, check it out!) when Joe comes running down stairs.

He has his most favorite possession with him (of course) his iPod touch, and he sits on the couch playing with it.

A few minutes later, he looks up, “Hey, Dad?”

“Hmm…” Roy is a bit distracted.  Hello, have you seen Community? FUNNY!

“For my birthday, can you take me out for a drive in your car?”

Roy said we would see, which usually means yes.

Joe is happy.

This was an exciting week for Joe!

Got a promotion in JROTC to Squad Leader

Just got his permit this morning

and a young lady asked him out on a date…

What a Week!

I’m not a big drinker.  I am just NOT a fan of most wines, though Roy has found a few that I really enjoy ONCE in a while.  I don’t like beer, but I LOVE the way it smells.  If you know of a beer perfume out there, let me know!

Anyone that knows me knows this.  If we go to a bar, I might have a shot for fun, but one is my limit, and, to be honest, I did my first shot about six months ago!  Yep, 37 years old and just took my first shot.  It was tequila, and the first one was fine.  

“How do you feel?” Roy asked as he searched my face for signs of distress.

“I’m ok!  I felt it going down, but now my tummy feels… sort of… warm.  Nice.”  I was surprised.  

“Ok!  One more?”

“I don’t know… maybe one’s my limit. Don’t want to push it.”

“Come on! You’ll be fine.” Roy persisted.

My husband is putting on the peer pressure, and in a moment of weakness, I gave in.

The second shot did NOT go well.  My hands started swelling, and I broke out in hives.  My heart was racing, and I felt like I just couldn’t get enough air.

“You don’t look so hot, Mom.  Are you ok?” Joe came over to sit at the table and looked at me with concern.

“I’m ok… just really tired.”

“Do you want to go to the hospital?” Roy was getting worried.

“No, just look up alcohol allergies or sensitivites.” I urged Roy, handing him his iPhone.

Turns out many people are allergic to tequila.  I have other food allergies, and since I have never been a big drinker, this one never came up. I have had tequila in the past, but always just very weak margaritas, but two shots of straight tequila, and I was thinking it might be time to head to the ER.

I went upstairs to rest, and Roy stayed with me until things calmed down.  Since then, I have been VERY careful about what sorts of alcohol I ingest.  Beer seems fine, though I am not a big fan of it.  Wine - haven’t had any issues.  Rum - no problem.  Peach Schnapps - BRING IT ON!

On the cruise, Roy was my alcohol police.  When we were in Nassau and met up with the rest of the family, shots were served.

“Chris can NOT have tequila.” Roy made sure everyone knew, because I had just cut open my foot and was checking out the blood.

“Nope, no tequila here.  She should be ok.”  My sister in law told us.  ”Come on, Chris. It’s good!”

And once again, giving into peer pressure, I downed the shot.

It was ok… too much whipped cream.  Had a great time at the bar.  We danced and laughed, but after one mixed drink and three shots, I was feeling perfectly normal.  Something tells me I could have taken some tequila shots here and been ok… yes, the drinks were that watered down!

So, anyways, as I was saying… if you know me, you know I don’t drink.  And if you are close to me, you know that not only am I just not a big drinker, I have some issues with alcohol.  

Now my sister is my sweetheart.  She is about 7 years younger than I am and I just adore her, BUT she knows I don’t drink… so why has she invited me to a wine festival for this weekend?  And then an Oktoberfest celebration next weekend?

The only thing I can think of is she needs a designated driver.  LOL… Lucky me! 

My cell phone rang today around 11:15.  It was the ring tone for Corey, our 17 year old.

“Why aren’t you in class?”  I didn’t even bother with hello.

“Mom?”  Uhh… he called MY phone, who did he think it was.

“Yes. Class?”

“I was late for school this morning, so I missed the transfer bus and had to drive.”

Our small town has two high schools. Corey is based out of one, but goes to the other in the morning because he takes Culinary Arts.

“And why were you late?”  I figure his friend was slow coming out.

His voice dropped, “I got a ticket.”

“You what?” I didn’t think I heard him right.

“I got a ticket.”

I sighed, “For what?”

“Failure to come to a complete stop at that random stop sign up the road from our house.”

“COREY!  Really?  Seriously?” I still wasn’t sure if he was BS-ing me.

“Yes.  Do you think Dad will be mad?  He did get a speeding ticket when he was my age, so maybe he won’t be too mad?”  I could hear the hopeful note in his voice.

“I don’t know if Dad will be mad or not, you can talk to him when you get home.”

“Ok, but like… could you text me after you tell him?  That way if he’s really mad I can prepare myself?”

Hmm… I almost want to NOT text him… let him sweat it out a bit more.

I’ve always been a morning person.  In high school, while my friends slept Saturday away, I was up by 8 doing my thing.  When I swam, I was up by 5, but that’s a whole other life.  Even when I stopped swimming, I got up early.  My body was programmed to get up at 5, so I tossed and turned for a bit and usually was able to fall asleep for a few more hours.  But inevitably my eyes crept open around 7:30-8, and I figure why waste the morning.

Being a morning person makes it easier for me to get up and get moving during the school year.  When I’m sick and have to drag myself out of bed (unless Roy gets up for me, but I don’t like to waste my good will on that!) mornings are rough for everyone.  I snap at the kids, I fuss at the dogs, and everyone boards the bus or drives off in a mood, similar to mine.

Corey is a big help in the morning, him being a morning person like me.  If I tell him that I’m not feeling well, he tries to help with Hayden, and that usually staves off the bad moods.

But my favorite day of the week is Saturday.  I still get up early, usually around 6:30 or 7, but since the boys don’t have to be up-alarm clocks are off, I don’t have to drag Hayden out of bed, and I can enjoy my coffee and my Harvest Peach Yogurt.  (Bought that one on accident and didn’t want to waste it-boy is it yummy!)  I can watch one of my shows in peace.  (Mommy!  I don’t want to watch this!  Can’t we watch Spongebob!)  After breakfast, I take my dog out so he can do his business, and then we come back inside and I do the dishes while he eats his breakfast.  When I am done, Shinobi (or Porkchop as Roy and the boys have taken to calling my chubby little pug) and I cuddle on the sofa for some more HGTV.  (I watch the shows on this channel all the time and yet my house STILL looks like a disaster site!)  My coffee is warm, and I love being able to finish it as the sun is coming up.

And just when I am starting to get bored I hear the pitter patter of little feet upstairs-or if it’s Roy or Corey the pitter patter of huge feet.  Time to start the rest of the day.

But Sunday…No, Sunday I let myself sleep in.

In the state of Virginia kids can get their license when they are 16 and three months, have taken a state approved driver’s ed course (consisting of classroom instruction and behind the wheel training), and completed 45+ hours of practice.  I knew the day was coming when my kids would be old enough to get their license, but I never expected it to come so quickly.  Corey got his permit in January, in fact he scored a 100% on the test!  He took his picture and got his permit a few days later.  The first few times he drove, Roy took him out.  Roy would joke that “he almost died” and that “his life flashed before his eyes.” But he said that Corey was doing well.  Finally, came the day when I let him drive with me.  I was nervous, and I could see my knuckles turning white as we drove around the parking lot of the high school, but he did okay!  Over the next few months, we got to see him grow as a driver.  We saw him become more aware of the world around him and learn to multitask in the car.

Those 45 hours were a long time coming, and he got a lot of those final hours in Georgia when he went to visit Roy’s parents for the summer.  They would call us every few days and remark on what Corey learned, what he practiced, and how good he did driving home in the pouring rain from his cousins’ house.  The day Corey finished his 45 hours was an exciting day for him, and a few days later he turned 16.  I was proud of him, but more concerned with getting everyone ready for the upcoming school year.

Then October 6th rolled around.  Corey was now 16 and 3 months, and in a few weeks he would be eligible to get his license.  Roy and I looked into driving schools for Corey’s behind the wheel portion of his class, and finally settled on a local school that we had heard good things about.  Corey’s first class was the day before Halloween, and still it didn’t hit me.  Pretty soon he had completed the course and passed his test. He was now a licensed driver and still I was ok.

This past Saturday I woke Corey up early.

“You need to get up.  Let’s check the lights on your car. I will give you some money and then run and get your car inspected.”

Corey said okay and hopped out of bed.  He came downstairs and poured himself some cereal and then asked me to come check his lights as Hayden didn’t seem to understand what he was asking him to do.  I laughed and put on my robe and came outside with Corey.  The cold pavement shook off any last bits of drowsiness as I walked around Corey’s 1999 Camry and checked the lights with him.  Everything was fine, and I admit I was surprised that he knew how to change all the necessary bulbs.

“Ok, I put some money in your account. Go to the body shop up the road and ask them if they can do an inspection.  If ANYTHING is wrong with the car, call Dad and I before you have them do anything.  If they are busy, call before you take the car somewhere else.” I informed him.

“Ok, Mom.  Will do.” He replied.

My oldest bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I walked him to the door.  I watched him get in his car, buckle up, and then slowly back out the car, and it hit me.  My eyes filled with tears, and I didn’t see the young man version of Corey waving at me as he drove away. Instead I saw a sweet four year old waving at me from my parents’ front door as I pulled out of the driveway to go to work.  I went upstairs and talked to Roy.

“Oh, baby.  You’re silly.” He told me.  He wasn’t being unkind, and in fact the humor in his voice reminded me that he understood exactly where I was coming from. “They still need you. They still need their mama.  They might not need me, but they still need you.” He joked.

I shook my head and disagreed with him, “Of course they need you!  I just can’t believe that he is 16!  Pretty soon we’ll sign him up for the SATs, and then you’ll be taking him to visit colleges.  Before I know it, he’ll be on his own.”

As a mother, I know that’s the nature of these things.  As parents we are supposed to ready our kids for the world… help guide them down the right path.  I don’t believe we can hold their hands for every decision, I only think we can try to share our experiences with them, our ideas, our advice, and hope that they make a decision that won’t haunt them for the rest of their lives.

Every day I see small signs of how the boys are growing up, how they are becoming their own person, and seeking their own paths.  And every once in awhile something big will come along, some huge milestone will be presented to Roy and I, and we are forced to look at the boys in a new light.  I think for fathers it is a matter of pride.  My son is driving now, Hayden made a great block in the football game the other day, Addi is enjoying middle school, Joe has his first girlfriend, Dean is using the potty… all amazing things!  All things I love being a part of.  I love witnessing and seeing, but all reminders that sooner, rather than later, the boys will grow up seeking out mates, falling in love, and perhaps raising children of their own, and though I don’t think they will ever NOT need me, I know the times that they turn to me will become less and less frequent, and I am just thankful that I have Roy to remind me that we still have a lot to look forward too.