This was an exciting week for Joe!

Got a promotion in JROTC to Squad Leader

Just got his permit this morning

and a young lady asked him out on a date…

What a Week!

In the state of Virginia kids can get their license when they are 16 and three months, have taken a state approved driver’s ed course (consisting of classroom instruction and behind the wheel training), and completed 45+ hours of practice.  I knew the day was coming when my kids would be old enough to get their license, but I never expected it to come so quickly.  Corey got his permit in January, in fact he scored a 100% on the test!  He took his picture and got his permit a few days later.  The first few times he drove, Roy took him out.  Roy would joke that “he almost died” and that “his life flashed before his eyes.” But he said that Corey was doing well.  Finally, came the day when I let him drive with me.  I was nervous, and I could see my knuckles turning white as we drove around the parking lot of the high school, but he did okay!  Over the next few months, we got to see him grow as a driver.  We saw him become more aware of the world around him and learn to multitask in the car.

Those 45 hours were a long time coming, and he got a lot of those final hours in Georgia when he went to visit Roy’s parents for the summer.  They would call us every few days and remark on what Corey learned, what he practiced, and how good he did driving home in the pouring rain from his cousins’ house.  The day Corey finished his 45 hours was an exciting day for him, and a few days later he turned 16.  I was proud of him, but more concerned with getting everyone ready for the upcoming school year.

Then October 6th rolled around.  Corey was now 16 and 3 months, and in a few weeks he would be eligible to get his license.  Roy and I looked into driving schools for Corey’s behind the wheel portion of his class, and finally settled on a local school that we had heard good things about.  Corey’s first class was the day before Halloween, and still it didn’t hit me.  Pretty soon he had completed the course and passed his test. He was now a licensed driver and still I was ok.

This past Saturday I woke Corey up early.

“You need to get up.  Let’s check the lights on your car. I will give you some money and then run and get your car inspected.”

Corey said okay and hopped out of bed.  He came downstairs and poured himself some cereal and then asked me to come check his lights as Hayden didn’t seem to understand what he was asking him to do.  I laughed and put on my robe and came outside with Corey.  The cold pavement shook off any last bits of drowsiness as I walked around Corey’s 1999 Camry and checked the lights with him.  Everything was fine, and I admit I was surprised that he knew how to change all the necessary bulbs.

“Ok, I put some money in your account. Go to the body shop up the road and ask them if they can do an inspection.  If ANYTHING is wrong with the car, call Dad and I before you have them do anything.  If they are busy, call before you take the car somewhere else.” I informed him.

“Ok, Mom.  Will do.” He replied.

My oldest bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I walked him to the door.  I watched him get in his car, buckle up, and then slowly back out the car, and it hit me.  My eyes filled with tears, and I didn’t see the young man version of Corey waving at me as he drove away. Instead I saw a sweet four year old waving at me from my parents’ front door as I pulled out of the driveway to go to work.  I went upstairs and talked to Roy.

“Oh, baby.  You’re silly.” He told me.  He wasn’t being unkind, and in fact the humor in his voice reminded me that he understood exactly where I was coming from. “They still need you. They still need their mama.  They might not need me, but they still need you.” He joked.

I shook my head and disagreed with him, “Of course they need you!  I just can’t believe that he is 16!  Pretty soon we’ll sign him up for the SATs, and then you’ll be taking him to visit colleges.  Before I know it, he’ll be on his own.”

As a mother, I know that’s the nature of these things.  As parents we are supposed to ready our kids for the world… help guide them down the right path.  I don’t believe we can hold their hands for every decision, I only think we can try to share our experiences with them, our ideas, our advice, and hope that they make a decision that won’t haunt them for the rest of their lives.

Every day I see small signs of how the boys are growing up, how they are becoming their own person, and seeking their own paths.  And every once in awhile something big will come along, some huge milestone will be presented to Roy and I, and we are forced to look at the boys in a new light.  I think for fathers it is a matter of pride.  My son is driving now, Hayden made a great block in the football game the other day, Addi is enjoying middle school, Joe has his first girlfriend, Dean is using the potty… all amazing things!  All things I love being a part of.  I love witnessing and seeing, but all reminders that sooner, rather than later, the boys will grow up seeking out mates, falling in love, and perhaps raising children of their own, and though I don’t think they will ever NOT need me, I know the times that they turn to me will become less and less frequent, and I am just thankful that I have Roy to remind me that we still have a lot to look forward too.

(remembered from November 2008)

A new high school opened up in our little town. First we got a Target, then a Starbucks, and then a second high school! Roy and I liked to joke that we were moving up in the world, or rather our little town was - and still is. All joking aside, Culpeper is a wonderful town to raise kids. We actually have a soapbox derby, one of the largest in the U.S., but more on that later.

Our oldest, Corey, was 14 at the time and a Freshman in high school. He attended the new high school, a state of the art modern facility, and he was (and is) proud of the fact that he would be a member of the first class to attend their entire high school career at our new high school. As his mother, I have conflicting emotions. He is an amazing young man, and it is that three letter word that will occasionally cause a little pang in my heart… Man. Gone is the little tow headed boy that would run down the hall in a clown’s wig and oversized sunglasses, a pair of Power Rangers undies covering his little bottom, and it has been replaced by a young man that stands a head taller than me. And perhaps there is a bit of vanity involved… I am not as young as I once was. I have a son that is about to start driving, who will vote in the next presidential election, and who will leave home in less than four years. There is a lot of pride involved, being the mother of these five great boys, but there is a lot of heartache as well. Oh, not what you think… I read somewhere that having a child is like cutting out a little piece of your heart and learning to let go. With five boys and an amazing husband, most of my heart has been given away. And I am ok with that, though the idea of them leaving me with just a hole as they leave the nest is hard to swallow.

So, Corey came home from school one day with a concerned look on his face. I asked him what was wrong.

“Is having contractions about 30 minutes apart a bad thing?” He asked.

Corey’s latest obsession is the TV show “House” starring Hugh Laurie and Lisa Edelstein. I figured it was just a question about an episode of the show.

“Why?” I asked, “Who is having contractions?”

“A friend of mine at school.” He told me this in confidence. He trusted me, and while my mind couldn’t quite wrap itself around this little tidbit, a part of me was honored and thrilled that he trusted me with this.

“Umm… well, how far along is she?”

“She said she is almost 8 months. They started in school today.” He shared.

I was surprised that she was still in school at 8 months. “Did her water break?” I asked my son.

He shook his head, “No, I don’t think so.”

“Well, at that stage the baby should be fully developed and birth would be ok. Where is your friend now?”

“She rode the bus home, and I guess she’s there now.”

Wow… a child was carrying a baby. This child was about to give birth, and she was taking a school bus home. Things sure are different than when I was in high school. I knew a young lady that got pregnant in high school. It was our Senior Year, and it was spoken about in hushed tones. When she started to show, she decided to be “home schooled.” But these days, kids go to school until the last minute apparently. I guess my age is showing here…

“Corey, if she is in labor, she shouldn’t be alone. Is someone with her?” I asked.

He nodded and said that the baby’s father is supposed to be there, along with his mother.

“Do you want to call her and make sure she is okay? Maybe run up there?”

He said that he was pretty sure she was okay. He was just wondering, and with that he ran up the stairs. A young man, but still very much my little boy.

Later that night I was telling Roy. “Corey’s friend is about to have a baby.”

“Really?” He was surprised, “How old is she?”

“Oh, she’s older than Corey, Roy. He said she’s almost 16.”

“You know, Chris, that’s only a year older.” He retorted.

That made me stop… wow, what was I thinking? He was right. How did I miss that one? Sixteen seemed so much older, or rather almost 16, but that was just about a year older than my son. I took a deep breath and saw that first piece of my heart walking out my door.

What can you even say about something like this? I see it everyday, how quickly time flies. How fast the days pass. One day Corey was scared of a green ghost, and the next he is talking about buying his grandfather’s old car. My house isn’t perfect, I admit that I am not the best housekeeper, but I think my kids know that if they need something, mom is here, dad is here. So, you sacrifice a spotless kitchen. I would rather do that than sacrifice getting to know my kids as they grow up.

This conversation took place almost two years ago. Corey is 16 now. He is about to get his driver’s license, and he has his own little car. Nothing great, but a good starter car. Two years ago, I was thinking about him getting his permit. Now we are talking about college. I remember this conversation as if it took place yesterday, yet time marches on. Two years later, Corey is a little taller, Joe is also in high school, Addi is in middle school, and Hayden is in first grade. I am trying to potty train Dean, and yet there are moments when time stands still for me. Moments that I can stand back, look at, and freeze in my mind. All my boys are here, for now, and I will keep these moments with me forever.

No, just kidding…I am sure my oldest would LIKE a little red corvette, but that just ain’t happening.

So, we are down in Georgia, and C is beyond lucky!  My parents originally offered him my father’s older car, when my father bought a new one.  But they come up with the idea to sell it and they would keep the money for C and when he was ready they would give him the money to buy a car that R approved of.  (My opinion was moot as I know nothing about cars, other than how to drive them and fill them up with gas, oh, I know how to make payments to the finance company’s as well…)

R’s parents bought a 1999 Camry as a car to pull behind their RV.  When they found out C was looking for a car, they proposed that if R and I approved they would sell him the Camry.  A deal was struck, and my oldest son (though he will be sharing it with his brothers when they are old enough) is now the proud PART owner of a 1999 Toyota Camry!  To say that I can’t believe it would be putting it mildly.  I have a 16 year old son..that can drive!  Lord, I feel old…