Ok, going to try something new here. I will still post questions of the day once school starts back up, and I would love for any/everyone reading this to join in on the fun, but for about 18 months now I have been working on a book of sorts. It isn’t a novel, but it isn’t a parenting handbook either. It’s about all the stuff you go through raising a big family-some of it funny, some of it heart warming, occasionally heartbreaking, but always together. I have maybe 100 pages (of a trade paperback, R figured it out for me) done, but in looking over it I think what would be most cathartic would be to post it here. I am not sure if there will be a lot of rhyme or reason to it, though I do want to explain myself a bit first and introduce the ‘major’ players (no more R, C, J, A, H, and D references), as they were. So…here goes….
I have five boys…yep you read that right…five! My oldest, Corey is 16 and starting his Junior year in high school in just a few weeks. He is an awesome kid! Yes, I know, I know… I am biased-I am his mother after all. He is like me in so many ways. Hard headed, sometimes belligerent (ok, that isn’t the awesome part), but loving, loyal and true to himself. Joe will be 15 in January and is starting his high school career this year. He is shy sometimes, but has a heart bigger than the sun. He takes pride in his work, and treats others, no matter who they might be, with respect and kindness. Roy Addison (Addi) is our wild man! He is eleven and about to start middle school. (I still can’t believe that!) He is so sweet, so smart, and just so full of life! He adores his younger brothers and wants nothing more than to impress his older ones. Hayden is six, and this year he is tackling first grade as the only boy of the house in elementary school. It’s going to be an exciting year for Hayden, and I know he will meet it the way he tackles everything-with a barreling enthusiasm. And then there is our baby…Dean. Dean is two and a half-the baby of the family. He is a daring, beautiful little boy-my last baby. Each of my boys are perfect in their own way (at least in my eyes), each has their own mind, their own personality and each has made their own mark in our family structure. Each of them will carry a piece of my heart with them…no matter where they go, no matter how far they travel-they own that piece of my heart.
And then there is my husband, Roy. He is quite simply the most amazing man I know, and have ever had the privilege of sleeping with. (He would love that little snide, sexual remark) There is nowhere I would rather be than sitting at my kitchen table and watching my six guys play video games on the TV, though don’t tell them that, they interrupt my TV viewing enough as it is.
Raising kids today isn’t easy, and no I am not just talking about the economy. We live in fear of our children becoming victims of school violence, being swept up with a bad crowd, being the victim of a bully, or perhaps a bully themselves. Sometimes, it’s a more benign fear, that the girl or boy that has their heart won’t treat it with the care it deserves, or maybe they will be teased because the shoes YOU bought them are SOOO last year. Either way, you have to find a happy medium. Your kids need to know that you have their back, that IF they need you, they know exactly where to find you, but at the same time hover too much and you run the risk of being labeled over protective. IF in fact you are over protective, you run the risk of your kids not being able to stand on their own two feet. It is one thing for them to know they can count on you, but quite another for them NOT to know they can count on themselves.
I don’t claim to know everything about raising kids- in the 16+ years I have been a mother, I have made more than my share of mistakes, I have been thrown for many a loop, and I have shed and caused my share of tears. What I do know is that humor can work, if you know when you use it. Being your kids friend, will not work if that’s all you are, but your kids should know they can talk to you…about anything. But I think the most important thing I have learned is we need to believe in our kids. We can’t be with them 24/7, so there has to come a time when you look at your child and have to trust that you did your best. You have to believe that you taught them right from wrong, and that the lessons you shared with them will stick. You have to trust that you taught them to do the right thing, even if their friends don’t agree. And you have to let them fly! They need to know that you trust them to spread their wings, but to always come home before curfew.
Raising kids isn’t easy, but it can be done…I promise you.
