I sound just like Taylor Swift, Adele/ and Carrie Underwood when I sing to them on the radio. But turn it off, and I sound more like Ja Rule.

Ok, it isn’t that bad… But I do a pretty decent Jason Mraz if I do say so myself!

I probably don’t sing like him either, but give me somethin’!

Now, before I share this, I want to be clear… I don’t think Roy would cheat on me. Ever!  I trust him, and I know he values our marriage and respects me too much to do something like this.

This morning I was listening to my playlist and Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood came on.

I dug my keys into the side of his pretty little, souped up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into its leather seats
Took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires

Girl is vicious!  So, I was joking, and I sang and danced over to Roy’s office and stuck my head in.

“OK, babe.  Now that you have a car you like to baby and love… I’ll tell you right now, you ever cheat on me… that’s what I’m gonna do to your car.”  I blew him a kiss and danced away again, giggling to myself.

Why, you ask?  Because right before I grooved on out of there, I saw some real fear in Roy’s eyes… for just a second… some real fear.

I am a complete sucker for these types of programs, and I watch them all: Greatest One Hit Wonders, Top 100 Number Ones, Best of the 80’s, etc, etc.  But this one caught my eye.  I mean the GREATEST songs of the past decade (you know, the Naughts Decade)… that’s a lofty list.  So here is 100-81 of VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of the 00’s.

100) Thong Song by Sisqo - The boys thought this song was hilarious, but I still don’t like to wear thongs.  And Sisqo was better when he was with Dru Hill (see - In My Bed)

99) Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood - Mike Fisher better watch out.  If HE ever cheats on Carrie Underwood, he best put his cars under lock and key.  But Carrie kicked some a** in this song.  You Go, Girl!

98) Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down - Addi loves this song, and it’s a pretty darn good song. Umm… I have no pithy comment here.

97) It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy - Apparently, men have tried to use a “Shaggy Defense” when they are caught red handed cheating.  I am pretty sure Shaggy stole this from Eddie Murphy, so shouldn’t it be called the “Eddie Defense.” (See Murphy’s HILARIOUS stand up Raw)

96) Don’t Cha by Pussycat Dolls f/ Busta Rhymes - Busta rocks! Ok, so… the Pussycat Dolls are telling all our men that we just aren’t as hot as they are, and ha, ha, ha!  I don’t think I like this song anymore!

95) Beautiful by James Blunt - Truly lovely song, or rather he sings it lovely, but it is so sad!  This song is like Every Breath You Take by the Police.  People think it’s a love song, they want someone to sing it to them, but Every Breath You Take by Sting is basically saying no matter where you are, or what you are doing, I will be watching you… I’m gonna stalk you to the ends of the earth.  NOT romantic… creepy.  Beautiful is the same way. Ok it isn’t creepy, but it’s so sad!  He saw someone that was beautiful, someone that caught his eye, and he just let her walk right on by.  They didn’t get together, they didn’t get married and have babies… it isn’t romantic; it’s just really, really sad!

94) It’s Not Over by Daughtry - I dig this song.  Like the sentiment, but I was completely distracted by Chris Daughtry’s rather large head during the entire video.

93) Here It Goes Again by Ok Go - Every time I see this video, I wonder how many times they had to practice on the treadmills before they were able to get it right.  Then I feel guilty for sitting on my butt watching them, and I think I need to go get on a treadmill myself.

92) Low by Flo Rida - Like the Daughtry song, I am completely distracted with this video.  Flo Rida has a crazy back piece, and I am pretty sure his boobs (pecs, whatever…) are bigger than mine.  But you know you’ve tried to make your booty pop to this song… just admit it.

91) With Arms Wide Open by Creed - This is a really nice song.  I can imagine a man holding his little boy and singing this to him.  Ok, I can’t really, but Scott Stapp really tries to sell this in the video.  He is truly just too earnest, and it kind of makes the song sappy.  

90) Shake Ya A** by Mystikal - I don’t know what he is saying, but he sounds kind of scary.  Supposedly it’s a pretty dirty song, but I can’t understand enough of it to know if that is true or not.

89) Paper Planes by M.I.A. - Roy and Hayden like this song. I am not a huge fan, but I give her all kinds of mad props for performing at the 2009 Grammy’s while 9 months pregnant.  In fact, not only was she nine months pregnant, but she performed on her due date.  I didn’t even want to roll out of bed when I was nine months pregnant, let alone dance around and rap. 

88) Stacy’s Mom by Fountains of Wayne - This poor girl.  She has a pole dancing mom (in the form of Rachel Hunter) as a mommy.  She better not bring her boyfriend home from college.

87) I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness - Ohhh… Scary!  With a name like that I expect some hard rock, some metal… but instead I got some skinny guy channeling 80’s hair bands.  I usually changed the station or the channel when this came on.

86) Jaded by Aerosmith - I love almost anything they do.  And this song really holds up… even if I am always distracted by Steven Tyler’s huge mouth.

85) I Try by Macy Gray - Like Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, I like this song better now than when it first came out.  And Macy Gray does rock an impressive afro.

84) In The End by Linkin Park - Like Aerosmith, I like almost anything Linkin Park does.  And I LOVED seeing Mark McGrath and Dave Navarro (Hmm… who has more street cred there?) giving Chester Bennington his due.  He is the ONLY person, besides Steven Tyler, that I can tolerate the screaming from.  And Mike Shinoda… ‘nuff said.

83) Untitled by D’Angelo - See, he was betting on all the ladies being so distracted by his abs, that he didn’t even bother to come up with a name for this song.  Sure, the man is (was?) in good shape, but I just can’t tolerate this kind of laziness.

82) Unwell by Matchbox 20 - NOT one of my favorite songs by them, and I am ashamed to admit that I fast forwarded through this part of the program… I suck, I know.

81) The Rising by Bruce Springsteen - I am not as familiar with this song as I am with some of this others, but it’s “The Boss.”  He can do no wrong… or, he can’t do a lot wrong…

Stay tuned for songs 80-61!