I remember watching the Miss America Pageant with my mom in 1983.  My mom kept remarking on Vanessa Williams’ eyes.

“Look at her eyes!  They are so pretty!  I would vote for her.”

I just thought she was prettier than the other girls, and when she won, I thought how cool it was that I picked the winner (in my mind at least).  I didn’t realize what a milestone Ms. Williams had made happen that night - the first black Miss America.  If you remember anything about that, you might also remember those infamous pictures that followed.  My mom was always comfortable in her own skin, and she couldn’t believe that the pictures would be that big a deal, so when they were published, she marched right up to the counter in the grocery store and bought a copy.  She showed my dad, and they both agreed that the pictures weren’t that a big a deal, and it was ridiculous this beautiful, intelligent woman was being humiliated like this.  I admit it, I snuck a few peeks. All I remember is that I thought the pictures weren’t very clear. Looking back I realize there must have been some sort of filter on the lens to give them that sort of dreamy, arty look.

So, when the chance to read and review the new book, You Have No Idea, by Vanessa Williams and Helen Williams (with Irene Zutell) fell across my desk, I jumped at the chance.  I was curious to see how/if she would address that ‘scandal’ of the pictures.

She did, with an honesty and candor that I find admirable.  She didn’t hide behind youth, drugs, or alcohol.  She simply owned up to what she did, addressed the issues it caused, and moved on.  That’s a lesson I want to learn, and so I kept reading.

She spoke openly about the men she loved.  Her first husband, Ramon Hervey, became her publicist, and they had three beautiful children together.  She spoke with a simple truth about their marriage, both the good times and the bad times. In regards to the relationship ending, she didn’t write about blame or whose fault it was.  She simple relayed the facts, but in a way that brought the reader into that time of her life.  I think many people know about her relationship with Rick Fox, and again she assigned no blame at the end of her marriage to him. She simple shared parts of their story.

I am a fan of Desperate Housewives, and Williams’ Renee Perry is a favorite character of mine.  She plays her with just the right amount of bitchiness, a hint of cluelessness, and a touch of entitlement.  But who can forget her turn as Wilhelmina on Ugly Betty. The show was wild, brash, and over the top, but it was so much fun!

Ok, I admit it. I’m a fan, but I didn’t realize how accomplished Williams was until I read this book.  I admire her for all that she had done. On the other hand she is a beautiful woman blessed with a beautiful voice. Is it any surprise how far that has taken her?

What I truly enjoyed about the book was her openness.  She didn’t hold anything back, even the tidbits that may cast her in an unflattering light.  And she didn’t make excuses.  She simply said, this is what I have done, and this is how I handled the repercussions.  It was beyond refreshing to read about a celebrity owning her life!  She didn’t blame her parents, her boyfriend, her kids - she didn’t even blame herself; she just took responsibility.  

She shared one story about her dad that stuck with me.  One day her dad told her:

“One day you will forgive us for being your parents.”

I loved that, and I loved that she shared it.  It made me stop and think of the things for which I blamed my own mother, and how long I have held on to that anger.  It made me think of my own children, and how at some point they might resent the things I did.  

This book is an honest, open book of this talented woman’s life.  There aren’t a bunch of excuses here.  She doesn’t place the blame on everyone but herself, and she doesn’t skip stories or situations that might place her in a less than flattering light.  If you have seen or heard any of Williams’ work, I urge you to check out this funny, poignant, and in depth memoir.  You will laugh, cry, and come to understand how admirable Vanessa Williams truly is.

Disclosure: This is a paid review of the book You Have No Idea by Vanessa Williams and Helen Williams (with Irene Zutell) as part of the BlogHer Book Club. All opinions I express here are my own.

And by today, I really mean yesterday.  Yesterday was my birthday - my 38th birthday.

Hayden told me I still look 29.  My sweetheart. Roy told me I was beautiful, and Addi told me I was the best mom. Corey and Joe wished me a happy birthday, and then Joe texted me from school to ask me to bring him his sneakers (Woohoo!).  

I had to run to Target to get some things, and Roy came along.  He slipped a few things in the cart for my birthday.

Let’s see - he bought me a beautiful spring outfit to wear (a khaki pencil skirt [sexy], and a pretty moss green blouse), two books from a series I love (J.D. Robb’s In Death series - one of my guilty pleasures), and some lotion that I have been wanting (Dean says, “It smells like Orange Juice, Mama.” He helped Roy pick it out.) Things I will use, read, and love to wear.

Roy and I made my birthday dinner - Cincinnati Chili.  YUM!  I admit it… I LOVE pasta, and I love chili. So why wouldn’t I love the two together?

But the real surprise was my birthday cake. The boys have been after us to make cake pops for a while, and a few weeks ago Roy decided to give it a shot.  They turned out great!  He made “real” cake pops. We didn’t use a little machine.  You bake a cake, let it cool, and then rip it up and mix some frosting into it.  You then form it into little balls, chill to firm them up a bit, pop in the sticks, and dip in chocolate (or melted candies of your choice).  They were so good!  The perfect size for a little sweet treat for me.

So, yesterday in Target, Roy got the idea to make me the biggest cake pop ever for my cake!  And he did!  He took pictures, so I will try to get him to post one.  The kids got a big kick out of it, and I loved it.  And boy was it tasty! Yellow cake on top of chocolate cake. MmmMmm!

I’m 38 years old, pretty darn close to 40.  I have a few gray hairs, and I’m pretty sure I’m getting some hints of crow’s feet, but I earned them… so I’ll take ‘em.

No, I didn’t put all the weight I lost back on.  No, this is not an excerpt from my personal journal… This, Diary of a Mad Fat Girl, is an amazingly, hilarious, over the top book by the charming Stephanie McAfee.

Graciela “Ace” Jones is a spitfire. She loves her friends, and loves them deeply, but she also doesn’t take crap from anyone!  And yes, that includes her friends. The book opens with our feisty heroine getting ready to head out for Spring Break - hey, she might be a teacher, but she needs some raunchy fun too! But all hell breaks loose when best pal - the beautiful, ex-model, Lilly Lane (Paging, Superman? Oh, wait, that’s Lois Lane… sorry!) - calls and cancels literally at the last minute.

Ace does what any of us would do. She sits on her butt eating ice cream plotting revenge. But Ace will soon have bigger fish to fry - Lilly gets fired, and then their mutual friend Chloe ends up in the hospital because her abusive ex husband went too far this time.

This book is hilarious!  Despite some of the heavy themes, I laughed out loud.  I cheered when Ace landed a solid right hook on a deserving man. I laughed as she struggled to move past her love for her ex. And I cheered when she realized what was truly in her heart.

Sure, there are some crazy moments: catching her friend’s husband is a, shall we say, delicate situation; a fight outside of a strip club that involves some sexy bikers; and a mysterious lady with eyes and ears (literally) all over the town.

And yet, McAfee makes it all believable. She has a light hand with some of the more outlandish plot points, and a solid grip on the emotional core of this wacky book.

Yes, I follow her on Facebook now, and she just posted that she finished the sequel.  I can’t wait!

Disclosure: This is a paid review of the book Diary of a Mad Fat Girl by Stephanie McAfee as part of the BlogHer Book Club. All opinions I express here are my own.

I love to read, but I tend to stick with a few genres that I really enjoy - thrillers, mysteries, the occasional horror, romances if I want a light read, and, of course, Dr. Seuss.  But this year, I decided to branch out; to try different types of books, stories, and memoirs.

When I was given the chance to read The Rules of Inheritance by Claire Bidwell Smith, I jumped at the chance.  This fit right into my New Year’s Resolution of branching out in the world of writing.

The Rules of Inheritance is Claire’s chronicle of dealing with the grief of losing both of her parents to cancer before she turned 30.  There are moments in here of heart-wrenching reality, where the author is literally drowning in her grief, and here is where I had some trouble with the book.

It’s hard to criticize a book like this.  This isn’t a fictional account of a character’s loss, but rather a real person’s real story. So how do you take issue with what they write?

For me, my issues were actually resolved within the book.  Claire’s parents are actually both diagnosed with cancer when she is 14.  I can’t imagine what it must have been like at that age, watching your parents fight a disease that is too often insurmountable.  What I hated seeing was that Claire defined herself by the loss of her mother when she was 18.  She didn’t seem to remember the good times. She didn’t revel in the fact that she had 18 good years with a mother that adored her. Instead, she became the girl whose mother died when she was 18.  It was almost as if all that came before was lost.  Granted this is a memoir on dealing with grief, but it seemed that no matter what stage Claire was at she still thought of herself as “the girl whose mother died.”

No disrespect intended, but I enjoyed Claire’s story much more when she spoke about her father.  Her father made different choices than her mother.  Her mother chose risky surgeries as a way to try to fight her disease, but her father decided he would die on his terms, and spend some time at the end with his daughter. And I think those choices allowed Claire to finally see her father for what he was - a war hero, a pilot, a provider, a husband, and a father.  The best part of this book for me was Claire’s trip to the Czech Republic with her father.  Her father’s bomber was shot down over a tiny town in Prague during WWII.  Here she learned that her father was not just “dad,” but a true hero.  He fought bravely for what he believed in, and I think Claire carried that admiration over to her father’s fight with cancer.  She trusted him to know when enough was enough, and she did all she could for him in the end.  

I was happy to see Claire come to terms with the loss of her parents; pleased to see her move forward from “the girl who’s mother died” to a place of happiness and acceptance.  

Disclosure: This is a paid review of the book The Rules of Inheritance by Claire Bidwell Smith as part of the BlogHer Book Club. All opinions I express here are my own.

The Magic Room is a book by Jeffrey Zaslow about a “magic room” in Becker’s Bridal.  Becker’s is a bridal store in the small town of Fowler, Michigan.  In the Becker family for four generations, this store is more than a simple dress shop - it is a place where mothers and daughters bond over the ritual of selecting a dress for what is to be one of the most important days in a young girls life.  Zaslow selects a few brides with stories to which the reader’s might relate.  Danielle, the young social worker that lost her mother when she was 11; Meredith, the first time bride in her 40’s who knows exactly what she wants; and Julie, the second time bride, who lost her beloved first husband and is looking at her second marriage as a way to heal and move forward.  Each of these women, among the others in the book, has her own moment in the “magic room.”  The “magic room” is a small room that actually used to be a bank vault.  It has a pedestal in the middle of it, soft lighting, and mirrors that let you see how you look in your dress from every angle.  This room will show you whether or not you are in ‘the one’ - you know that special dress that brings tears to your eyes and makes you visualize every step down the aisle.

What surprised me about this book was how touched I was.  A simple reaction, but not one I expected.  I never looked at weddings as that big a deal.  In my mind, it isn’t the wedding that is important, but the marriage.  And being my second wedding, I just wanted to be making the right decision rather than the right dress selection.  The wedding is, as my mom told me, a way for family and friends to celebrate with the bride and groom as they move forward with a new chapter in their lives.  My mother-in-law wanted my celebration to extend beyond my imagination, so she set out to get me a dress.  While I would have been happy in jeans and a nice shirt, she led me to find that special dress - one with pop and glamour - and sharing that experience with her was wonderful.  Zaslow was able to bring another dimension to those celebrations.  Danielle’s wedding was a way to celebrate her mother’s short life and all she taught her.  Meredith’s wedding was a celebration reminding her guests that dreams do come true and holding out for exactly what you want is ok!  And Julie’s, whose story touched me the most, was a celebration that life continues after the death of a spouse, that moving on with your life does NOT mean you forget what came before.

However you view weddings, and all the trappings that come along with them, this is a book with a lot of heart.  It’s a book that attempts to explore the relationship parents have with their daughters, and how each side views this day for celebration.  If you have daughters, I can’t recommend this book enough.  If you are a woman and have ever been through planning a wedding, this book will remind you why you put up with all the stress and craziness that came along with the planning.  But no matter who you are, this book will touch you and make you remember your own “magic room” moment.

Me in my dress all buttoned up after the ceremony.

I tried my dress on a few weeks ago, and amazingly, it still fits. And even more amazing, it made my husband light up as much as it did 12 years ago.

Disclosure: This is a paid review of the book The Magic Room by Jeffrey Zaslow as part of the BlogHer Book Club. All opinions I express here are my own.