When I coached swimming I was often surprised by how kids approached the sport. Year round swimming (swimming for a club team, NOT affiliated with a school) was one thing. These kids were there by choice (whether their choice or their parents is another story) and worked hard.
But a school team was a different story. Some kids wanted the chance to letter, some wanted to be a part of a team, others truly liked the sport, some wanted to stay in shape (cross train) for another sport, and some simply wanted to check out someone on the team in a bathing suit.
Swimming at the high school level is different, unless you have a certain number, if the kids show up and pay the athletic fee, their on the team. When they know that, it was hard to get some of them to take it seriously. Hard to stress to them that the team counts on them.
Until it was time for a meet and they got to see exactly what that meant. In high school swimming the first eight places get points. So, if there are 8 swimmers as long as you finish without getting disqualified you get points for the team. Relays, it’s the top four places.
I admit that I’m a tough coach. Often I was there by myself, or with only one other coach. Add in 60 swimmers and it gets crazy. Swimming isn’t without risk. I’ve seen one young lady hit in the face passing someone, and let’s just say her nose didn’t fare so well. Things can happen, so I demanded (yes, demanded) that they listen when I was talking. If you were blabbing when I was talking, I would call you on it. After about a week or so, most kids understood what I wanted.
The first high school team I coached was made up of many of the kids I coached on the year round team I worked for. They knew me, they knew what I expected and the other kids tended to look to them for pointers anyways. By the time meets rolled around, we were a well oiled machine. Sure, there was some issues, but nothing we couldn’t take.
The second team…WHOLE other story. Most of the kids were looking for a way to get a varsity letter, ok, I can work with that. Or they wanted to cross train..ok, can do. But there were a number of others that simply wanted the chance to say they were on the team, still ok, until they decided that putting the work in was too much to ask of them.
Before the first meet I explained the deal. If you are on a relay and drop out, I might not be able to find a substitute, that means you are depriving three other people that chance to swim and potentially losing us points. If you drop out of an individual event, you might cost the team points.
Lots of nods, murmurs, went around..they assured me they understood. But sure enough that night, someone wanted to drop out. She didnt’ seem to understand what that meant, knowing that she would cost the team points, and knowing it was a close meet, I chose to let her make a choice, with the understanding that whatever she chooses she would still cheer on those kids that stuck it out. She chose NOT to swim, and stood at the end of the lane brushing her hair.
The girls lost by 14 points. Points that probably could have been made up had she chosen to swim. The other girls on the team expressed their anger with her, and she didn’t drop out of another meet again.
And here is my point-NOT every child is an athlete, so what, BUT when you sign on to be a part of a team understand that the team is counting on you to give it your all. Whether that’s swimming you part of the relay race, playing first base, or just cheering from the sidelines. When you consistently show you are not a team player, you can’t expect your team mates to NOT call you on it.
And trust me, the kids usually do just that. But I wonder about the parents. Why do you sign your child up for a team, if you’re just going to let them leave when it gets hot, or they don’t get to play the position they want? Maybe they won’t be a professional baseball/softball player, but I guarantee you they will encounter something in life that they will NEED to do that they don’t WANT to do. And how exactly do we expect out kids to handle that, if we just let them leave anytime they decide that ‘they don’t want to play anymore?’
This isnt’ a playdate. Sure, maybe Timmy is sick of Johnny and it’s time to pack it in. I get that, a team sport if different. You are part of a machine, and that machine won’t function properly if all the components are out of wack.
I’m not saying that we should force our kids to play if they are truly not wanting too, but what about telling them that they, at least, need to stay until the end and cheer on their team/friends? Is that really too much to ask of them? Is that really to much to EXPECT of them?
