After we had Hayden, I thought that was it. I put off doing anything permanent, because at 30 I didn’t want to completely take away the option to have children yet. When Hayden turned 2, I would broach the subject of another baby with Roy jokingly. And he always said the same thing: “We have a baby.”
One day, probably a dreary Sunday, I was curled up on the couch watching some silly movie with Dennis Quaid and Rene Russo called “Yours, Mine and Ours.” The premise is simple- a widower with 8 kids and a widow with 10 decide to get married at their 20th (year HS) reunion, putting their two families together and creating havoc. The kids don’t like the idea, but come to realize the advantages of working together, and they live happily ever after.
“See, they have 18 kids! We can certainly have 5.” I told Roy.
“Ok.”
This stopped me in my tracks. Was he kidding? Did he think I was kidding?
“I’m not kidding. I would like to have another baby.”
“I said ‘ok’.”
And so it began. The next day I called my OB and went in for a checkup. We got the green light, and I thought it would be a snap. I got pregnant with Hayden in just a few weeks, but who knows what the deal was this time? Perhaps it was because I was older, 34. Maybe I just wanted it too much, but either way, it took almost a year. I understand that to some, especially those that struggle with fertility issues, a year is nothing, but for me it seemed to take forever. I never had issues getting pregnant before. Of course I had never been in my mid-30’s before either.
I took pregnancy tests a few times during that year. Each time, hoping and praying with everything I had that I would see those lines, and each time I was disappointed. The first few times was no big deal to me. The fourth time I held back the tears, and the fifth I cried and cried. Roy was out of town, and Corey was the one to give me a hug. As a mother, I will never forget that moment. I decided to give up and told Roy that I just couldn’t do it anymore. We had a lot to be thankful for - the kids were all healthy and happy, we were healthy and happy, perhaps another baby just wasn’t meant to be. I don’t think Roy wanted to push me, and I couldn’t decide if I appreciated that or it made me angry. I thought if he wanted another baby as much as I did, he wouldn’t’ let me give up, but looking back, I know he simply didn’t want to push me.
After I made the decision, I felt a weight lift. But for some reason I put off calling my doctor to get birth control. One month turned into two and before I knew it, I was late. Addi came home one day and announced he needed construction paper and markers, so I took him to Target. While we were there, he found a two pack of EPT (pregnancy tests) on sale and convinced me to buy it. I did the math, realized I was about two weeks late, and thought… why not?
I got home and snuck up to our bedroom. If I wasn’t pregnant, Roy never had to know I took yet another test, but Addi beat me too it.
“I know what you’re doing in there.” I heard him knocking at the door.
“What?” I feigned innocence.
“Addi already told me… well?” He looked at me with a question in his eyes as I opened the door.
“Honey, it takes a few minutes.” I answered and sat on our bed to wait. Something told me that this time would be different. After a few minutes passed, Roy looked at me. I shook my head, and he walked into the bathroom to look. I saw him open the box and read the directions, and I figured he was checking to make sure what the negative reading was. My heart sank. He walked out of the bathroom, and I couldn’t read his face.
“Congratulations!” And he gave me a kiss. I was pregnant!
The first few months of the pregnancy were easy. Not much morning sickness, though a lot of afternoon and night sickness! But around four months I got a weird rash… and not just on my stomach, everywhere! And, boy, did it itch! Ok, whatever, but the worst part… no one could tell me what it was! I went to my OB, and they prescribed a steroid cream… nothing. I was going through a bottle of calamine lotion every other day. I tried to get an appointment with a dermatologist and had no luck. Because I was pregnant, our insurance let me extend the coverage area. Still no luck. So they let me extend it again. I finally got a wonderful young lady at an office about 75 minutes away. At this point I was in tears; she put me on hold for a minute and asked if I could come in that day. Wouldn’t you know it… Roy was in the office. I said the earliest I could come in was tomorrow, and she said no problem. Even let me pick a time that was good for me. I am still grateful to that young lady and am annoyed as all get out at the local offices for failing to take pity on a pregnant woman in pain. The rash turned out to be pregnancy-related, but the cream my OB prescribed wasn’t strong enough. I was so thankful and finally got some relief from the itching and burning. The rest of the pregnancy was somewhat normal, for a woman my age I am told. I didn’t’ gain a lot of weight until I hit my seventh month, and even then I did a much better job of keeping my weight gain under control than I did with the two oldest boys. But I was always tired. I couldn’t sleep, and I was sick often.
On December 28th, our anniversary, I thought I was in labor, but nope, false alarm and they sent me home. The next few days I felt fine, even energized enough to run to Costco on January 4th. While there, Addi found a Rock Band set for the PS3. I thought, why not… and to all the boy’s joy, we decided to buy it. We got home, and I found that I was actually decent on the drums, so we had a blast playing it for hours, and finally I went to bed around 11. And here is the crazy part…
Around 4, I woke up, but I didn’t want to get out of bed. It was chilly, and I was so warm and sleepy, and then I thought, “NO way! Did I just pee the bed?” Graphic, I know, but my water had never broken on its own, so I didn’t suspect anything. Thinking I better get up, and Roy is not going to be happy, I stood up… and BAM! Water everywhere! I ran into the restroom and called Roy.
“Roy!”
I heard him grunt from the bed.
“My water just broke.”
“What? Are you serious?” He got out of bed and came over to me in the bathroom.
“Yes, I need some clothes.”
He laughed and went to get me some clothes to wear, “I just fell asleep.”
“Why were you up so late?” I asked him.
“I was watching a movie. Can’t you wait?” He half-jokingly asked. I gave him a look, and he went to tell Corey that it was time. He called our neighbor, and she came over to watch the boys for us, and we went off to the hospital… again! We live in a rather quiet town, but for some reason that day was crazy in Labor and Delivery. I came in, and figured… no problem! This is my fifth, I’ll be in and out. Boy was I wrong! A young lady came in pregnant with her first and delivered in 30 minutes - as did the other five women that came in AFTER me! But for some reason, Dean was just fine where he was. Finally, I got to 5 centimeters, after about 9 hours, and they said if I wanted an epidural, now was the time. I figured at least Roy and I could get some rest, so I opted for one, and then fell asleep shortly after. I woke up a few hours later, and was ready to go! Finally! It’s never quite as you remember it, the pain and the pushing. But in the end, it’s all worth it.
They laid Dean in my arms at 4:51pm on January 5th. He was so tiny, but I think he had more hair than Hayden! He opened his little eyes and looked right at me. Like Hayden, Dean took to nursing with no trouble. In fact, there was a point when he was a few weeks old where I was afraid I wasn’t producing enough milk! But he thrived right from the get go. We took him home the next day, and right from the start, he fit right into our little family. His older brothers adored him, and though their age difference is pretty big-14 years, the benefits to having older kids with a baby are amazing! Corey and Joe helped with the younger boys, they would burp Dean for me so I could cook dinner. If Dean woke up in the morning, one of the older boys would bring him down to me while I was putting lunch boxes together. They didn’t change diapers often, but then again, Roy tried to get out of it too!
Our family was complete, finally I felt it. It felt right. Dean is just like his older brothers-Corey’s sassy mouth, Joe’s thoughtfulness, Addi’s crazy spirit, and Hayden’s sweetness. They fight and fuss with one another, but they always have each other’s back, and that is just how I want it. Dean is at the age now where he picks up new words on a daily basis. We all understand him, though people outside our family still have trouble sometimes. The older boys love teaching him new words and rough housing with him. I don’t always like it, but Dean gets right in the middle of it. He snarls now, and the older boys joke that he is a vampire. See, just like his older brothers, already digging the monsters! But truthfully, it is Iron Man that really does it for Dean. Those that read our site know this. He is obsessed with him, and I think we have spent hundreds of dollars in the last few months feeding that obsession, but Dean’s my last baby, so I get to spoil him. I can’t have any more kids and occasionally that makes me sad, but then I see my boys and all is right again.