Boy, not a very interesting title to the post there, but it was a long day yesterday, and it’s already been a long morning. Ok, so a few more things that seem to make our school year go a bit smoother:

1) Decide on lunch the night BEFORE-if your mornings are anything like mine, knowing what the kids want to do beforehand can cut down a bit on the running around.  As I said in my last post, the older boys are in charge of their own lunches, though I still discuss things with Addi and Hayden the night before.  I tell them what the school cafeteria is offering, and let them decide if they want to eat in school, though Roy and I put a limit on that.  The school has a system for parents to load up their ‘ID numbers.’ Basically, the kids are all assigned a student number, and at lunch they can punch in the code to access their account.  The system allows parents to load the account with money using a credit or debit card.  The older boys prefer to pack, but I put enough money for 5 lunches and five little treats on Hayden and Addi’s accounts every two weeks.  When the money is gone, they have to pack and wait until they get more money.  This allows them some freedom to pick and choose their lunches, and they both seem to like that.  Knowing the night before if they want to buy I can tell them if they still have money, or I can allow myself a bit of extra time to help them get their lunch boxes ready.

2) Do Family dinners-We don’t do this every night.  I try to cook at LEAST every other night, but when we do cool we ALL sit down together, unless previous arrangements have been made-the older boys are out with friends, working, etc.  Family dinners are fun!  We laugh, and joke with each other, and in between the laughing fits, the boys share tidbits of their days.  It’s a more relaxing way to find out about the kids lives than grilling them, as I have been known to do on occasion.

3)Go Over Homework-I won’t lie, the two older boys’ math homework is above my head at this point.  Well, Joe I can still struggle through a bit, but Corey is taking Calculus-right over my head!  Luckily, Roy can still help him.  BUT, I can make sure that they have at the very least done the work, might all be wrong because I can’t check the answers for them, but I can see that they have done the assignment.  I can remind them that IF they have questions, please go ask Dad instead of just putting something down and not getting it (makes it tough to do it again on the test later).  English and History are more my things, and I go over their assignments with them-Oh, I don’t do it for them, but I make sure I know what is going on with ALL the boys in their classes.  Part of Addi’s English homework is to spend a bit of time reading each day-only about 15-20 minutes-when he reads (because it is not his favorite thing to do) I try to sit at the table with him and read as well.  Even IF you aren’t familiar with the material, simply going over it with your kids can help you become so.  I am surprised how much of my literature I remember when Corey asks me questions about one of the books he is reading-Frankenstein, Beowulf, Canterbury Tales-I figured they were all lost to me, but when he talks to us I find myself remembering small details and even lines from the books.

4) Be interested-As a mother of five, I find this can be tough for me.  Not because I’m NOT interested, but because Roy and I are constantly shifting gears.  Corey’s work is different than Joe’s.  Joe’s is different than Addi’s and so on, and it can be hard to shift from one mentality to the other.  We can’t always talk to Addi, Hayden and Dean the same way we can talk to the older boys, and at the end of the day, when we are tired it can be hard to go from one speed to the next, BUT we try to make the effort, and the kids know that, they get it, and they appreciate it.  I know Joe appreciates it, even though he protests, that Roy and I remember the name of the young lady he likes.  I know he appreciates it when we ask him about her, NOT tease him, but ask him about her.  Corey likes it that we talk to him as if he were a young adult about school, career, etc.  And the younger boys just want us to listen to them talk about the coolest level on Roblox-some computer game, don’t ask, I don’t get it.  Even if you have to fake it at first-be interested in your kids.

5)And tell them you love them-I’m thrilled that the boys-all five of them-don’t seem to care if we drop them off right in front of the school.  They don’t care who hears them tell us they love us.  My 17 and 15 year old still give me a kiss on the cheek as they leave the house, and damn anyone that sees.  And I think they do this because it’s a normal thing in our home.  Roy and I often tell the other person so much we love each other, we show affection every day, and we aren’t afraid to do so with the kids.  Roy hugs the boys and they return his hugs, it’s normal.  And no, I don’t think it’s because all the boys are mama’s boys, but they know how much we love them, and they know in the end we will always have their backs.  It’s a part of our family, it’s who we are, and I think it helps them feel secure with who they are.  It’s a simple thing.  I think Roy had that growing up.  His parents are very open with their affection, my parents not so much.  I KNEW/KNOW they love me, but it would have been nice to hear it more, to feel it more.

Be present in your kids schooling-that’s the bottom line.