As I said, I believe in a good education.  And one thing that I believe can help foster that is a strong reading and writing background.

Many teachers say, Read to your child!  Read to your child!  And they are right on!  It is important…

BUT as Roy just pointed out…that isn’t how a child is TAUGHT to read.  Or rather that is not all that is needed.  If simply reading to someone teaches them to read a teachers job would probably be a lot easier, right?

And let me make this VERY clear AGAIN-I didnt’ say I expected a 12th Grade English teacher to stop teaching what they are required to teach and read Dr. Seuss because Little Johnny can’t grasp Shakespeare.  What I WOULD expect that teacher to do is let the proper people know that Little Johnny isn’t able to grasp what he is supposed to be able to at this level. Identifying a problem SHOULD be exactly what we expect of a teacher, because if  you are taught to TEACH, and you can’ do so because a child can not learn at the level you are teaching, how can you do your job?  How can parents get that child the help they need?  How can that child get the help the need?

A few points (and forgive me if it jumps around, it is rainy season in Florida and that triggers my migraines):

It sounds like you and Roy are fabulous parents.  You love your children, want the best for them, and it sounds like you would be willing to try just about anything reasonable a teacher suggested to you.  That’s fabulous.  However, in my 7 years of teaching in both low and high ses more than half of the parents I have dealt with have not been willing to work at home with their kids.  I get very anxious prior to parent-teacher conferences because while I LOVE my students and see the absolute best in them â€" in the past when I mentioned any concerns I had (academic, behavior, or social).  I’ve been jumped on.   The response that I receive is that responsibility of fixing my concerns are entirely on my shoulders â€" and not at all on the parents or the students.  (Alternately, the community of parents I work with now respect my profession, my opinion, and trust what I say instead of questioning it.  It is so refreshing).

If you knew all that I put into my teaching, and how much I care about my students, you would know how incredibly demoralizing such encounters can be.  They eat at my thoughts, and take away from my concentration on my job.  Do I think parents should share concerns, ask questions, etc.?  Absolutely.  However, I think that when it is approached as I am an expert in education and together we are going to work on a solution for any problems â€" the results can be much more positive.  I’m not saying that you personally don’t do this, but many parents do.  I’ve been told, “I basically pay your pay check, so you have to do this.”

I am a primary teacher with a M.Ed. in Literacy.  I believe that all content area teachers do teach reading in some forms, and should have appropriate teaching strategies to support students with lower reading skills.   However, there are mandated curricula that teachers MUST follow.  In an era of high expectations, if we suddenly lower the material we are at professional risk because of education laws and requirements in districts.  Many elementary schools uses response to instruction (RtI) to support students reading below grade level.  The RtI is in addition to, not in replace of, the core curriculum.  As data is collected, if the child is still not showing progress they are referred for a special education evaluation (Multifactory Evaluation MFE) and if there is a disability they receive a Individualized Education Plan which identifies goals, services, types of instructions, and accommodations.

So, ultimately all students MUST receive the core curriculum (grade level).  Supports are available â€" however, this is NOT done during the core instructional time.  As the student hits high school, it is my understanding that high schools generally have different levels of courses (remediation, regular, honors, AP, etc.).  That is something to be considered.   If your child was below grade level at this point, I’d reflect on the effort you and your child are putting into their school work (not that you do their work, but the way you enforce expectations).  Then if your child is working at a reasonable level, you are trying to support them, etc. I would suggest you approach these teachers and say “What can we do to help Johnny access this material and help him improve his reading comprehension/writing skills?”  Most teachers are probably differentiating their lessons and making it as hands-on as possible.  You might be surprised to know what they are already doing.  I really think asking for advice, asking what is working in the classroom, asking what tutoring is available at the school, will absolutely always be received better than “You need to do this,” “Well, when I was a kid we…” and, “You shouldn’t do this.”

Believe me I get it.  Just as a parent, I can see that some parents believe a teachers job is to teach-and to them that means teach it ALL!  Manners, hygiene, nutrition, as well as reading writing and arithmetic.  I understand that.  We have cringed more than once during back to school night as a parent attacked a teacher.

I am not a teacher, but I was a swim coach.  I had parents attack me because their kid did not do well in a meet, but the bottom line is I can’t swim the race for them.  Students need to put in an effort.  As a parent, I get that, and I tell my kids that.  

And I agree with you that many parents take the attitude of “If I didnt’ have kids you wouldn’t have job.”  Sure in a way that is true, but at the same time the teachers that love what they do, that are passionate about teaching can be chased OUT of the profession by parents like that.  I get it, and as a parent of five kids that bothers me.  I give teachers their due, trust me.  Just like with my boys, I know people flourish when they know their work is appreciated, and I make sure to do that with the boys’ teachers, but that doens’t mean I will hold back when there MIGHT be a problem.

On the other hand, I do THINK SOME things worked better from ‘the old days.’  Phonics-many kids dont’ even know how to sound out a word.  Why not?

I see your points and agree with many of them, on the other hand, do you know what it is like for a parent to ask a teacher for advice and get no response?  Or even worse, be asked to clarify who their child even is-even though you give child’s name and what block they have the teacher in?  Do you know, as a parent, what it is like to set up a meeting with a teacher, to try and come to some resolution, or get some answers only to be told that basically your child is a screw up and they are just biding time until they can get rid of them?  Do you know what it is like to walk by a classroom and see a teacher sleeping and kids just doing busy work?

Just like ANY other profession, I think most teachers (and notice I say most) care about their students.  I think they do what they do because they want to make a difference, but I think there are some teachers that could give a flying poop, and it is those teachers THIS parent is concerned about!

My Dear Teachers post caused quite a stir.  I think some things were taken the wrong way, or maybe I wasn’t clear… I don’t know.

I was reading an article in Reader’s Digest yesterday.  Actually it was a vent from a teacher.  She made a lot of sense.  She is trained to teach our children.  That is her job. She would like to be treated like a professional.

Fair enough, and I understand that.

But I want to say this. it is your job to teach the children in your classroom, but it is my job to parent MY child.  If I have a question or even a suggestion, I would also like to be given the respect you so dearly want.  You are right.  You went to school to learn how to teach children what they need to know, but I know my child, perhaps just a bit better than you.

IF there is ever an issue, I will talk to you with respect.  I won’t blame you for anything, especially when I don’t have all the facts.  I won’t accuse you of being a bad teacher, so please don’t accuse me of being a negligent, uncaring, inattentive parent.  If my son fails, I won’t place the blame on your shoulders if he didn’t study for a test, or turn in his homework. Maybe he screwed around in class and got a poor participation grade.

I don’t believe in coddling my children.  If they forget their homework, they will fail. I will not dash to the school in my workout clothes to bring it to them.  I don’t expect you to teach them proper hygiene, manners, or what the coolest pair of jeans might be at any given moment.  But I do expect them to learn while in your care. 

And yes, I said care because I would HOPE that you care about the job you are doing.  I assume you do, or you wouldn’t do it.  And that is what I ask from you.  If I come to you, don’t assume it’s because I am blaming you for anything. It’s because I happen to care about my child.

I recognize that you are a professional, and I will respect the job you do.  I am asking that you do the same.  Please recognize that there are still many parents out there that care about their kids and the education they are receiving.  There are still parents out there that take the time to get to know their kids and what is going on in their lives.

So, please respect us as well, and let’s work together.  Don’t assume that because we don’t have teaching degrees we have nothing valuable to offer.

How About Better Parents?

I think for the most part we’ve been lucky. Almost all of the teacher’s the boys have had, and we’ve been dealing with the public school system for 13+ years, have been wonderful.

They’ve pushed to make learning exciting, found new ways to teach the same material year after year, and the boys reap the rewards.

Now that our last year as the parents of a kindergartner are coming to an end, I want to say thank you to Dean’s teacher.

She’s always smiling when I see her, though it has to be physically impossible to always feel well, be happy and alert-especially with a toddler of her own at home. But smile she does.

Dean is a mommy’s boy, I admit that, but she made school fun for him. Even on the days that he doesn’t want to go to school he comes home with a smile and a funny story about Mrs. “G.” One day in particular stands out. I had to take the boys to school and as we entered the school they boys were supposed to go one way, and i was supposed to head into the office. Well, Dean wasn’t having that. He started to cry and Hayden tugged gently on his hand. Dean shook him off and suctioned himself to my hip. I tried in vain to take him off, and finally one of the other kindergarten teachers recognized him, and came to take his hand and bring him into the cafeteria. Dean fought and cried, and I felt my heart break just a little bit. But the teacher never lost her patience. She gently steered him towards Hayden who was waiting by the cafeteria doors.

I expected to get a call or an email from the teacher that Dean had a rough day. Nope! He ran off the bus that afternoon, smiling and laughing. He had a beautiful picture that he drew of the two of us playing a game. He said Mrs. G helped him with it. It still hangs on my office wall.

I was worried that this year would be hard on Dean. He went from three half days in preschool to five full days, but he’s been fine. he’s thriving his teacher tells us.

I get reports from Hayden’s teacher that he’s a funny and enthusiastic participant in class discussions, especially in History his favorite subject.

The older boys bring home fun and interesting projects to do in their classes. Projects that make them think and look outside the box.

I missed my 20th reunion, but when I think about my own years in school one teacher comes to mind, and I’m angry that I can’t remember her name. I remember that she LOVED the Cleveland Browns and Julio Iglesias. She wore these beautiful gold hoop earrings too. But what I remember most is how she encouraged me to write. How she encouraged my love of books.

We read a book called “Cry the Beloved Country.” I told my dad what we were doing and he brought home a copy he bought for me. I read through the book in a day. When I was the only one that raised my hand to participate in class discussions, she sent me to the library with the instructions to find another book with the same themes, read it and write a report on it. She gave me an extra test grade for that.

When we read Beowulf, I remember i had no trouble grasping the imagery and content, but it wasn’t my favorite assignment. I was the only student in all six of her class periods that got a one hundred on that test. She said my paper was beautifully written. I’ll never forget that.

When we wrote short stories she gave me constructive criticism, and when she got choked up during one scene I’d spent hours writing, I knew I was on to something.

And yet I can’t remember her name. She was my English Teacher during my senior year of school. I can’t even find my yearbook!

I remember her face, I can hear her laugh, and I remember feeling strong and smart in her class. Maybe I took with me the most important things a teacher can give a student-confidence and the willingness to look at things differently.

So thank you to all the teachers that have made a difference in my life-and there are many. Some taught me, some taught my children and I know Roy must of had a few teachers that struck a chord. 

Thank you for coming to school most days with a smile on your face, and thank you for taking the time to care about our children.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I want to be very clear here - CRYSTAL clear.

I have five boys.  I’m a mom, I stay home with my boys, and I believe in working WITH teachers to provide my kids the best education possible.  I’m not a mom that thinks my kids are perfect, that they are infallible, little angels.  On the other hand, I’m not above questioning a potentially missed answer, or disputing a grade if need be.  (I won’t tell you my kid deserves an “A” but if you say he didn’t do it and I KNOW for a fact he did, I might shoot you a quick email asking you to please take another look for the paper)  I don’t expect you to teach my children manners, how to dress, comb their hair or feed them.

On the other hand, I do expect you to let me know about an issue you are seeing. And I would hope you do so before I call you with an issue WE have, because if you wait you are making me question WHY you waited. You also come off as overly defensive, and that’s going to make me want to go over your head.

I respect teachers.  One of our good friends teaches third grade, and I know how hard she works.  How much heart goes into her lesson plans.  I admire you for doing what you do when you do it with passion.

BUT, (you knew it was coming right?) that doesn’t mean first impressions don’t count.  I took Hayden to school the other day, and since our school system has an open door policy, I imagine teachers know that a parent might pop in at any time.  I got up early, and though I wore shorts-they were nice shorts, and a nice shirt.  I fixed my hair, and put on a bit of blush.  Why?  Because as a parent, I wanted to make a good first impression with Hayden’s teacher.  I wanted to give off the impression that I took our son’s education seriously and I felt my look should convey that as well as my attitude and what I said.

I don’t think the teacher felt the same way.  I get it, it’s early, we are all tired, but was it too much to ask you to look me in the eye, and stop brushing your hair?  Perhaps when I stuck my hand out you could have shaken it, instead of simply looking at it and dismissing it.  I have no doubt you are qualified to teach, but understand that is still my baby, and just because the state puts their faith in you, doesn’t mean we have too.

It was a short meeting, and that’s all I planned it to be.  I wasn’t going to stay and interrupt instruction or distract Hayden.  I made sure to get there right before the other kids did (literally, about 1 minute before everyone came barreling in, I wasn’t interrupting her morning by any stretch of the imagination), I made an effort, and I was sad to get the impression that the teacher didn’t.

First impressions are important.  And I’m willing to admit that my first impression wasn’t a great one.  I know, as a parent, that means I’m going to want to question you more.  I’m going to want to double check tests, etc.  I’m going to want Roy to come with me to parent teacher conferences because I can be a touchy witch, and I don’t want to do that.

First impressions are important.

Life with Boys: Dear Teachers

Life with Boys: Dear Teachers

Save our schools. And our teachers!

There is a trend now that I, as a parent, find rather alarming.  School districts across the nation are having to make cutbacks.  Whatever the reasons are, I get it; I understand it must be done.  In some cases, cutting back is imperative to keeping some schools open.  But what I don’t understand is the mentality of ‘first in, first out.’

Meaning the newest teachers are the first ones to go.

There is something to be said for experience.  I understand that concept, but there is also something to be said for a a fresh face, new ideas, enthusiasm, and optimism.

As a student, some of the best teachers I had were brand new to the profession.  They brought with them new ideas and an idealistic optimism that anything can be done!  And to be honest, one of my worst teachers was just biding time until the end of the year and her retirement party.

NOT saying all teachers are like that, so please don’t assume I am.  When Joe started school, he was a shy, little boy.  But he had a hunger for facts.  His kindergarten teacher was brand new, only a few months out of college in fact.  And I worried that she might lack the experience.

I couldn’t have been more wrong!  She got down on the floor with those kids. If something didn’t work, she pushed it aside and tried something else. She did art with them (rather than just dropping them off at the art teacher’s classroom). She helped them pick out books at the library and ate lunch with them. And when the kids sang their songs, her voice was loud and clear.

On the other hand, I have seen new teachers unprepared for dealing with 22 six year olds.  They get easily flustered and soon their promises fall short.

My point here is IF cutbacks must be made and part of those cutbacks include letting teachers go, why aren’t we looking at the results those teachers produce?  Why aren’t we getting student and parent feedback?  Why aren’t the administrators observing the teachers in the classroom and making informed decisions?

Experience doesn’t equal a better teacher, just as younger doesn’t always mean you lack the qualifications.  The idea is that we are supposed to be doing what is best for our kids, so let’s do that, and let’s start by putting the best people we can in the front of those classrooms!

As I said, I believe in a good education.  And one thing that I believe can help foster that is a strong reading and writing background.

Many teachers say, Read to your child!  Read to your child!  And they are right on!  It is important…

BUT as Roy just pointed out…that isn’t how a child is TAUGHT to read.  Or rather that is not all that is needed.  If simply reading to someone teaches them to read a teachers job would probably be a lot easier, right?

And let me make this VERY clear AGAIN-I didnt’ say I expected a 12th Grade English teacher to stop teaching what they are required to teach and read Dr. Seuss because Little Johnny can’t grasp Shakespeare.  What I WOULD expect that teacher to do is let the proper people know that Little Johnny isn’t able to grasp what he is supposed to be able to at this level. Identifying a problem SHOULD be exactly what we expect of a teacher, because if  you are taught to TEACH, and you can’ do so because a child can not learn at the level you are teaching, how can you do your job?  How can parents get that child the help they need?  How can that child get the help the need?

Sooo, I make a pact with myself to spend more time giving in to my feelings of restlessness when it comes to writing…and than I don’t write for four day?  Go figure!

It could be because our timeline got moved up.

What timeline you ask?

Well, I’ll tell ya,  Hayden is a Freshman this year, Dean is in fifth grade-so he’ll start middle school next year, and Roy works about 60 miles from home. NOT horrible, until you factor in rush hour traffic.  Sometimes, Roy gets into the office in an hour an a half, sometimes it take twice that-my goal was to move the summer before Hayden’s junior year.  That would give him two years at a new high school, Dean would have two years at the middle school before moving into HS, but my husband is beat.  With the new position he accepted, he’s going in almost daily-and I know it’s hard on him.  So, we’re looking to move in just a few months!

Ugh, I said it out loud

We’ve been here so long, I forgot why I dislike the process.  Getting the house ready, finding a new house…and than there’s THE PURGE.

I decided to start small, something no one could have any say over-my closet.  I listed items on ebay, I put aside items for a yard sale-and felt accomplished until I looked at my closet.  Pretty sure it looks no different.  When did I accumulate so much stuff?  

To be fair, Roy’s side of the closet looks similar.  I tell the man he needs to purge and he gives me two t-shirts-out of the 50 he owns-though he only wears about 10.  He has a t-shirt that he wears constantly (I wash it, he wears it-vicious cycle) that I can see through-I kid you not.  It didn’t start out like that, he just wears it constantly!  To boot-it says Grooveshark (does anyone even remember what that is?) and he got it for free!  Not that there’s anything wrong with promotional swag-I love my pens, but when it’s starting to disintegrate, maybe it’s time to move on?

Now, for my case I realized I have way to many shirts with goofy sayings.  Some I bought for the specific purpose of basketball games-I have a few with sayings, or Hayden’s number, etc.  But most say ridiculous things like, “More Tacos please.”  I’m not sure why I need three shirts that say that-especially when all are just different shades of grey.  

And you’d think when the shirts hold no real sentimental value it would be easy to let go of-apparently, it is not.  You never know when you might find yourself in desperate need of tacos and maybe you’ve lost your voice?  I don’t know…

And let’s not even get in to my legging collection.  Now, in the winter I do wear them-daily for the most part.  I wear tunics and leggings, or a sweater and leggings, etc.  They’re warm and cute-the more colorful the better!  But I’m short, so specific brands fit me best-so why do I have pair after pair that are too big? 

I think there was a time when I bought clothes to make myself happy-I was feeling out of sorts, sad-and when I worked through that-I was left with a packed closet.  And so, THE PURGE commenced.

I truly hope the kitchen isn’t like this-or you’ll find me crying in the shower…