That is actually the name of a book.  My favorite memoir by a man named Jim Beaver (Supernatural, Deadwood).  There are too ‘definitions’ to this phrase that come to mind.

1) This is the way things are.  Life’s just that way.  Sometimes it’s hard; sometimes it is not.  Sometimes we struggle to put one foot in front of the other, and other times we skip.  

2) When the crap has hit the fan…  When you feel like you can’t go on… When you are ready to give up… Remember: Life’s That way.  Your life continues over there. Once you move forward… THAT’S where your life is, that’s where it’s going. (Hope I explained that well. If not, Jim Beaver does!)

I have seen a number of posts recently about the first year of parenting.  And yes, it’s easy to talk about the good things - baby’s first tooth, learning to crawl, to walk, eating solid foods, sleeping through the night.  But we don’t often talk about the ‘bad.’  And there is bad that comes along with parenting.

I read something in a magazine (it was actually something Timothy Olyphant said).  Women’s Health asked: You have three kids. How does fatherhood change a man?

His answer: It exhausts you! That’s how it changes you! My buddy on the show (Justified) is expecting a baby. I said, “Imagine I call you at midnight, and I hang up on you without saying anything. Then I call you two hours later and I hang up again. This continues. Oh, and by the way, in between my calls, you’re wondering if I’m dead.” That’s what it’s like.

Funny, but so true!  SO true! I can’t tell you, with five kids, how many times I’ve stood over a crib and held my breath just to make sure the boys were breathing.  How many times I held a sleeping baby for hours because I didn’t want to wake them and listen to their cries that I just couldn’t decipher.  No, it’s easy to talk about the good times, but the ‘bad’ times, well, it’s almost as if we are supposed to keep those a secret.  The silly thing here is that we ALL have them.  ALL parents have them, even if your child is the sweetest baby in the world, you have rough patches.  And if you say you don’t, you are either lying or completely delusional.  Harsh words, yes. Truth, yes!

Even now that the boys are older (almost 17, 15, 12, 7 and 3), I have moments EVERY DAY where I doubt my abilities.  I question if I am raising them the right way, if cereal is really a good dinner, and do they have enough clean underwear or should I do some laundry at 10pm.  When they were infants, compound those doubts times 10. 

Was I nursing them enough?  Too much?  Do I need to buy the more expensive diapers?  (Though with Dean I used cloth diapers.) Do I have AD ointment on hand?  What did I do wrong, and why does my baby have diaper rash… AGAIN?  There were times when I was exhausted.  I felt like I just went ten rounds with Mike Tyson - when he was in his prime!  And lost… badly!  So I put the baby down for a nap, nevermind that they probably weren’t tired… Mommy was tired.

I nursed Hayden and Dean for about 12 months.  I admit that I did it at the beginning because I wanted to pass on any immunity I might be able too, but I kept it up because formula is expensive!  And sometimes, I am cheap!  (There I said it! Roy will be happy.)   Why pay all that money for formula, I’ll just nurse them.  Plus it was easier… my boobs come with me, bottles could be forgotten.

Heck, I have even forgotten to get the older boys off the bus before.  Addi and Hayden caught the bus right in front of the house, so with them, it has been much easier, plus they had older brother’s on the bus with them, so they could get off with them.  But Joe and Corey was a different story… in kindergarten I had to get them off the bus and in our old school district kindergarten was a half day.  I didn’t get up to the bus stop in time once!  When I realized the time, I freaked out… I ran up to the school, and when the bus pulled up and my little boy got off, he looked so relieved to see me!  I felt like crap, but he was just glad school was over, and he could go home to watch Power Rangers.

Being a parent is the hardest job you will have.  You will cry, scream, and bribe your way through it at times.  You will pray for the school bus to come, so you can enjoy your coffee in peace.  You go to the gym, not so that you have a hot bod, but so you can get away from your kids.  Date night isn’t about romance, it’s about getting away from what’s become of your life.

But despite all of that, despite the hard times, you can’t wait until that bus pulls up and your little one (or big one) gets off with a smile on his or her face.  You come home from your date, and peek in on the kids sleeping soundly in their bed and you know without a doubt that the hard times… well, it’s all worth it.

ALL of it.