Addi used to ask us this when he was little all the time, and for a while we had no clue what he was talking about!  Addi used to have an imaginary friend named Jim, and I thought that is who Bob was, so I would play along.  I would ask him where Bob lived, and what we did there.

Addi would tell me that Bob lived far away, and that we went to his house for Christmas before.  He lived with his wife, and I just chuckled and went along with it.  Addi’s favorite story was the time Bob shared a Sprite with him when he was crying one day.  I just smiled at my little boy.

One day I was going through family photos and found a great picture Roy had taken of his grandparents.  He took it at a surprise party we all had for his grandfather, and the pictures shows Roy’s grandparents laughing together.  I had the picture enlarged and bought a frame for it and put it on our sofa table.  One day Addi was looking at the pictures, and I heard him yell for me.

“Mommy!  It’s Bob!” And he ran into the kitchen with the picture of Roy’s grandparents.

And then it dawned on me… yes, they lived far away (Florida to our Virginia), and we went to their house for Christmas on a few occasions.  One time Addi was crying, and Grandpa did indeed share his Sprite with him.  They had a sleeping porch attached to their house that we all used to sleep in when we went to visit, and sure enough Addi used to run around in their front yard with his brother’s.

I smiled, and assured Addi that, yes, it was Bob in the picture, and we would go visit him soon.  Then I relayed the information to Roy who laughed.

Roy’s grandfather used to tease the boys all the time, and we figured Addi asked him his name, and he joked with Addi that his name was Bob.  Addi believed him, and ever since then we often refer to Grandpa as Bob, which, in reality, was not his given name.

After Hayden was born, Bob and Grandma made the long drive up here to see their latest great-grandson and our new house.  Roy’s grandma was worried about the stairs in our home, but she wanted to see the upstairs because Roy’s mom told her we had such a big bedroom, so Roy carefully helped her up the stairs, while Grandpa sat at the kitchen table holding Hayden and talking to me while I cooked dinner. 

Grandpa was a Navy diver back in the day, and he told me a story about a squirrel. To this day I don’t remember a lot of the details because he would always laugh when he told me.  He told me this story the first time I met him, and he told me again when they came up to see us, though I think he was really telling Hayden.  He  asked me if I needed help, and I think he was secretly happy when I said I was ok, because that meant he got to sit there and just hold the baby.  When grandma was around, or when Roy’s mom was around (the boys call her memaw), they always took turns holding the baby.  

I never knew either of my grandfathers.  My dad’s father passed away when I was about 18 months old, and my mom’s father passed away when I was 10.  He was still in Vietnam, and because of government issues back then, my mother never went back after she left, so my sister and I never knew him.  Roy’s grandfather was a stand in for them in a way.  

Roy’s grandparents were so loving. They accepted the older boys and I right away.  As soon as Roy and I got married, they referred to me as their granddaughter.  

I called grandpa when he was in the hospital and even spoke to him the day before he passed.  He sounded strong to me, though I suppose his voice always did, and before we hung up, he said he loved Roy, the kids, and I.  Though I knew he did, it was always unspoken before that phone call.  

Roy had to go to work the next day, and he left before the sun had come up. When I walked downstairs to get the kids ready for their day, I found a note from him.  He told me that when he got home he wanted to tell me something about Grandpa, but I already knew what he had to tell me, because Grandpa had said goodbye to me the day before.