In my quest to lose weight, one thing that has kept me going (I mean aside from the fact that I am losing my food baby) is my “Treat List.” For every five pounds I lose, I treat myself to a little something: The first five pounds was a new, supportive sports bra, the next five pounds was a new outfit to wear to the gym, and the next five pounds was a cute, spring outfit from Loft.  My goal is to lose about 18 more pounds, and when I reach my goal weight I have in mind something special.

I have tattoos, four of them to be exact: A butterfly on my foot (that desperately needs to be retouched!), another butterfly on my back, a treble clef with a rose on my back, and something special that Roy designed for me on my arm.  I love my tattoos.  They are a permanent part of me, and each one means something to me. 

When I lose all the weight I want to lose, I have another one in mind.

I love music. In the car I have to listen to music, so that I can sing. When I cook dinner, I put music on, so I can sing and dance, and occasionally I will find a song that means something a bit more than just a rockin’ dance beat.  In this case I found two, both from P!nk.  Corey loves her, and I admit she is pretty darn awesome, but her two newest hits really hit home.

Raise Your Glass: For me this is more about the video.  The song has a few lines from the chorus:

“So Raise Your Glass, if you are wrong in all the right ways, all my underdogs…”

Love the message. Be happy with YOU. Don’t try to fit into any molds. Don’t pretend to be what you are not just so you can follow the masses.  Roy and I try to teach that to our boys.  And in the video, there is just a small scene with P!nk playing at a wedding, and then it pans to the happy couple - two, smiling, excited, handsome young men.  They got her message… Raise your glass and be happy with who you are.

And that’s all I want for my boys. It took me a long time to accept who I was, to be ok in my own skin.  It took me a long time to realize that just because I had made mistakes, didn’t mean I didn’t deserve to be happy.  

And then there is her latest hit: F***in’ Perfect.  Wonderful song, beautiful message.  Strong message, and the video is the same.

In it a young girl is ignored, bullied, made to feel less than because she isn’t blonde, skinny, and blue eyed.  She struggles to express herself, but her mother has very distinct ideas about what is and isn’t acceptable.  She starves herself and ultimately tries to commit suicide, but she sees something (a little teddy bear that used to make her happy), and she pulls herself up and starts to paint.  That leads to her meeting her husband, and then the end… this same girl walks into her daughters room and sings the final line of the song: “You are perfect to me…” to her little girl.

And when I hear that song, I think of my boys.  NO, I don’t think they are perfect, far from it… we are all human; we make mistakes, BUT they are my boys, my babies.  I carried them under my heart for nine months, and they are a part of me. I will always love them, and if they want to wear their hair in a mohawk, dye it, or pierce their nose, maybe they are gay, maybe not, or they like to shower at 10pm at night (don’t ask)… I want them to be who they are.  I want the inside to be reflected on the outside. I want them to understand that we don’t fit into neat little boxes, none of us do… there is something inside each of us that makes us special, unique, and I am going to do my best to help each of the boys recognize that and show the world!  When I hear that song, I don’t look at my boys and think “Oh, perfect!” I see them and realize I don’t want to change them so that they fit into MY idea of the perfect son.  No, they are just fine the way they are.

So, my treat to myself in 18 more pounds is a tattoo on my right side: Raise Your Glass…

And I dedicate it to my boys… I want them to raise their glasses… because they are perfect to me…