I don’t know how many times I have said this in the 16+ years I have been a mom.  10,000?  20,000?  Maybe more. 

I have numerous variations on this phrase: Check it, Check your tone, Watch that mouth, Watch your mouth, Don’t talk to me like that, I’m your mother, not your friend, Show me some respect, etc., etc.

But they all mean the same thing: You better watch what you say to me and how you say it.

I get that being a teenager, a tween or a child can be tough.  You don’t always get to do what you want, when you want to do it.  You don’t always have enough money, enough clout, enough time, etc., and that can be frustrating.  I can be lenient.  If one of the boys stubs their toe and says, “S**T!” I usually let it go.  However, if one of the boys calls another one a “S**T!,” not so much.

I want the boys to realize that how you say something can be just as important as what you say.  Screaming at one of the boys to “SIT DOWN!” is different than quietly asking or telling them to sit down.  Means the same thing, but I guarantee you are going to get two different reactions.

And this is why email (and even phones) can be a double-edged sword.  You can say what you want to say without worrying about the other person interrupting you, but they can’t hear your tone, and they can’t see your facial expressions. 

I am a talker, and while I have said things I regret and will later have to apologize for, I am a big believer in discussing your problems. I don’t think anyone should just say what they want, whenever they want, and not expect there to be some sort of repercussion.  We might have reasons (excuses?) for saying what we said, but, again, that doesn’t mean you get free rein to spew whatever it is you want.

Words hurt, and even tone can hurt, and I hope the boys (and Roy, and even myself) understand that.