Whatever happened to this way of thinking?
I’m not talking Roman orgies, I’m talking kids playing.
When Roy and I were growing up, we played with our friendS. Big groups of kids playing tag, hide and seek, taking turns on the slide or swing. Sure scuffles arose, names were called, tears cried, but that’s just how things go with kids.
But these day-that doesn’t seem to be the case. One on one is the new thing-is it, I don’t know.
But what I do know, is many kids don’t seem to know how to bow out gracefully. If my son slams the door in your kids face, I would correct him right quick. Even if you don’t want to play with the child at the door, you do NOT hurt feelings, because you know how it feels if they hurt yours.
Do you do the same? When your child slammed the door in my son’s face yesterday, and left him there crying and wondering what he did wrong, did you correct your child and say that wasn’t necessary? That a simple, “I can’t play right now.” Was all that was needed.
How young is too young to learn manners? At 4 Dean is just learning, but he knows right from wrong. He knows if he steps on Mommy’s foot, and she says, “OUCH!” It probably hurt, and he apologizes. He knows that ripping the remote out of big brother’s hand is rude, and he shouldn’t do it. But he doesn’t always understand that ins and outs of friendship. He doesn’t quite understand that sometimes friends argue, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of that friendship. He’s learning, but he still needs practice.
ON the other hand, Hayden at 8 knows better. He knows that sometimes you need to pull back, that sometimes there is such a thing as ‘too much of a good thing.’ He knows that friends argue, and sometimes that means it’s time to wrap things up. He doesnt’ always like it, but he gets it. We expect him to use his manners-please, thank you, you’re welcome, etc, etc. And not just with adults, but with his little friends as well.
I’m an adult, I am, I promise. I have a temper, but I like to think for the most part I’m pretty good at focusing it on the right person. I don’t take it out on innocent bystanders, and when/if I do I try to make amends. But I’m a mom. When my son comes crying because your child was rude to him, I admit it, it upsets me. Granted I only know his side of the story, but as a mom my first instinct is to protect MY child, it isn’t always to wonder if your child is ok.
Kids, teens, adults-we argue. There are misunderstandings, miscommunications, words are tossed out before we think-it’s human nature. It happens. But there’s no need to hurt each other’s feelings on purpose. Having the power to hurt someone is intoxicating, or it can be. Knowing you hold that power over someone-it’s a dangerous thing.
Do you teach your child that? Do you remind them that it isn’t nice to hurt someone’s feeling? Do you remind them how they felt when my son hurt their feelings?
It’s summer, what happened to “The More the Merrier?”
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- northernmomma said: Kids behavior and what is expected of them is not the same as it used to be. I am the same way with my children I expect manners and we have rules there are many families sadly that don’t. I see kids being rude to parents daily prob same w friends
- lifewithboys posted this