More than one person has expressed surprise at the large age difference between my boys - our oldest is 16 and our youngest is almost three (already?).  And we have three boys between those two as well - almost 15, 11, and 6. 

I started having my babies when I was very young.  I was only 20 when Corey was born, so even though there is almost 14 years between Corey and Dean, when I had Dean, I wasn’t even considered “high risk” because of my age.  (usually over 35 is considered a “high risk” pregnancy)  I am not saying the sibling age gap doesn’t present its challenges.  For instance, Hayden is at an age where he doesn’t understand why his older brothers get certain “benefits,” and he doesn’t.

“How come Joey doesn’t have to go to bed?!” is a familiar refrain in our house around 9pm.

But to be clear, there are a lot of little perks for me as well - we have two kids able to babysit on hand, and 9 times out of ten they are happy to help out, so Roy and I can get away when the rare occurrence presents itself!  I can ask Addi to keep an eye on the two little boys, so I can run up and take a shower, though this often ends in screaming matches (usually them, but sometimes me!).  And now, running out of milk isn’t that big a deal as I can send Corey out to get some, or I can ask them to watch the younger boys while I run out to get some. 

We were at Costco one day (this was before Dean was born), and it just so happened that the boys were walking in chronological order, and each was carrying a shopping bag.  An older couple stopped, and I heard the gentleman counting aloud. 

“Look, honey!  Four boys!” And they smiled at our boys as they marched through the parking lot after Roy who was pushing a full cart.  Yep, they are all mine!  I hear similar remarks at times, especially if I happen to take all five boys out by myself.  I have heard numerous times how brave I am to take them all out, and I want to laugh.  My two oldest as teens, both are bigger than I am.  The three of us each get one younger boy… trust me, it isn’t as hard as it sounds. But thanks, anyway!

I’ll admit, it can be tough to switch gears sometimes - helping a 15 year old with homework is a lot different than helping a 6 year old with homework. But we manage.

And then there are the shining moments. Dean is home with me during the day, and when his older brothers get home, he will often rush to the door.

“Jobey!” He’ll say with excitement. He can’t say Corey for some reason yet, and he still adds that “B” in Joe’s name.

And Joe will pick him up and give him a hug.  Dean will pull back and babble something to Joe, and Joe will ask how his day was.  When Addi is feeling especially sweet, he will read a book to Dean, there heads bowed together.  Corey is too cool for the mushy stuff, but occasionally I will catch him doing something sweet.  Hayden will lay on Corey’s bed, and they will play PS2 games together.  Or Corey will hold Hayden’s hand as they cross a parking lot.  If Roy goes out of town, Corey has even carried Hayden up to bed for me.  Emily is wonderful with the little boys as well.  And when she is here, she will often take them for a wagon ride or play kickball with them.

While moments like these are not really rare in our house, our house is usually loud, chaotic, and when the dogs get involved, just get out of the way.  But I love the mixture (as I often say here).  Each of the boys is hitting new milestones and two huge ones are smacking me in the face - my oldest just got his license, and my baby is very nearly potty trained.  I figure it’s just a matter of time before high school graduations hit us, then college graduations, then perhaps the boys will be carrying their own children up to bed. 

And because time flies, I find myself mentally logging these sibling interactions, because even though (as Roy points out to me) there will come a time when it is just the two of us, and we can take cruises or go to Disneyworld as a couple, I know when I am laying on those Serenity Lounges (the adults only deck on Carnival cruise ships), it is the moments witnessing the kids grow and mature together that will replay in my head, even as my beautiful husband is handing me a pink drink with a yellow umbrella.