(remembered from April 2000)

“OH YEAH!” Ok, yeah, I don’t know what that song is. OK, I’m lying. I totally know what that song is, and I even know who sings it (Da’ Butt by E.U), but I know I have heard that more than once in the 16+ years I have been a mother. And for a while I didn’t like the junk in the trunk, but you know what… Roy’s digs it, so who am I to disappoint him? BABY’S GOT BACK!

Anyways, it was a beautiful spring day… the kind of day that, as a mom, you know you should take your kids to the park, but instead you are going to be a bit selfish and do something for yourself. I was actually going to be selfish with my little sister, who happened to be down from college that weekend for a visit. I do want to add that she isn’t all that little. Kim is almost seven years younger than I am, but I really started to “notice” her, when I was about 16 and she was only 9, so I felt like her mom for awhile there.

Anywhos… we were getting ready, and here I was feeling pretty hot. Thinking I had lost a lot of the baby weight - this was after Addi, so pre Hayden and Dean. I was trying on two sundresses and thought I would wear this red sleeveless one Roy had bought me. I slipped it on and was twirling in front of my mirror. I lifted my hair off my neck and posed in the mirror.

“Kim,” I asked my sister. “Does this make my butt look big?”

Right at that moment, Corey, who was about five at the time, runs into my room.

“Ohh… mom. You look pretty.”

I knew it. I still had it!

“So, Kim. Does my butt look big in this?”

And before she could answer, my five year old chimed in, “No, your butt doesn’t look big, mom!”

“NICE!” I thought.

“It looks HUGE!” And with that, Corey ran out of my room.

Damn, now I need to find something else to wear.

I mean, hey, I asked right?! You don’t want the truth, don’t ask when a child is around, cause you will most certainly get it.