I think that certain obsessions can be healthy. As long as you aren’t peeping in someone’s bathroom, or incessantly stalking someone on Myspace or Facebook, obsessions are a part of life.

I will start with my husband. Over the course of our marriage, he has gone through phases. For awhile it was some online game called Counterstrike. He would play into the wee hours of the night with his friends, then he would go to work the next day with those same friends and I am guessing they would talk about the game they played the night before. I married a geek, what can I say? I often tease my husband that if he wasn’t so good looking, he would fall into the whole “Revenge of the Nerds” persona. On the other hand, he was young when we married, only 22, so perhaps I am lucky that he was only into video games. I have one girlfriend who married soon out of high school, and her husband was into cocaine and strippers. Guess who is still married? (Not her!)

There was a (very) short foray into oil painting. I think he only did two paintings, but we spent a few hundred dollars, so if he had wanted to do more we certainly had the supplies (still have them too, did I mention Roy likes to keep things… EVERYTHING!) After his painting, he took a break from his “hobbies” (that is what I call all our little obsessions). I was pregnant with Hayden, and we were getting ready to move, so no big deal. Well, then we moved and it took us some time to get the house in order. (If I am being honest, it still needs some work.) So again, Roy’s hobbies fell to the back burner.

Then in 2005, he decided to get a fish tank. Ok, whatever… the kids will like it, and I read somewhere that people that watched fish for even just a few minutes a day reported lower stress levels. And trust me, my stress levels are probably off the charts. We started with a little 10 gallon tank. It was cute, but I knew it wouldn’t last long. That tank developed into a 44 gallon tank. I liked this one… it was sort of an elongated cube, with a cool stand… but, alas, that still wasn’t enough. So, Roy decides to upgrade to a 75 gallon tank. It came with a perfectly good stand, but he found plans and built his own… this HUGE monstrosity, that once finished was great looking, but moving it into the house was hell. It took Roy, Corey and I 30 minutes of grunting, groaning, pushing and pulling. I am pretty sure the reason my back hurts every morning is because of this little endeavor. So anyways, that worked for awhile, but he soon got restless. He began changing up the configurations of junk in the tank… we had pebbles, sand, black sand. Plants and little ornaments, no plant and no ornaments. You name it, we had it. And we had my two fish… Oscar and Omar. We got them as babies, and they grew into monsters, but Roy was still bored. So, he decides to “upgrade” (I say it like that because all it means to me is more expensive and less hearty) to a saltwater tank. Again, we started with a little 10 gallon… and knowing my husband, I knew this would be a short lived endeavor.

“I think I want a biocube.” He says to me one day while I am cooking dinner.

It sounded expensive and time consuming to me, “Ok… what’s that?”

“It’s a fish tank. I think I want the 29 gallon one.”

“I assume this is for saltwater stuff, right?” I asked, and to my credit I made a valiant effort NOT to roll my eyes.

“Yeah. It’s cool, it has pretty much…”

“HOW MUCH?” I interrupted him and did my best imitation of Bill Cosby.

“It isn’t too bad. I mean, we’ll save a lot of money.”

“HOW MUCH?” I asked again.

Again, Roy tried to justify his desire, and again I cut him off. I just want to know how much the thing is, so I can budget for it. I don’t care what color it is, or what it looks like. How much is the damn thing?

“It’s about $350.” He finally answered.

“Fine, whatever.”

He looked at me and walked away. I adore my husband, but from what I read, saltwater means twice as much work, money, and the stuff seems to die A LOT quicker. But I want him to be happy. A few weeks later, he got his Biocube, and I got some fish. He is very sweet about it all, letting me pick out fish or coral. Right now, I have a little skunk shrimp named Pepe, and we have two clown fish that I have yet to name. I don’t like getting too attached to the clown fish as we have already lost 6 of them. The Biocube is nice… but, alas, it still wasn’t enough. He took $150 and bought another tank from some guy. A good deal, or so he says, but anyways… it sat in the garage for awhile, and at one point, he even put it out at one of my annual yard sales. It didn’t sell, and he decided to give it a shot and set it up. He did some touching up on the stand, built a hood for it, and it now sits in our family room. I admit it is beautiful. Roy bought an anemone, and I love it. It sits in one corner of the tank, the tentacles just flowing in the slight current, and the clown fish swimming in and out. There are some other corals and fish in there, but I usually watch Pepe (yep, he is still swimming around almost three years later!) and the anemone. All in all, we have spent thousands of dollars and many hours on his fish tanks. Now, he justifies that by telling me that some of the people on this forum he participates in spend upwards of 10k on their tanks. Which is awesome for them, but I don’t live with those people, so why would I care what they do with their fish? Now, you might think I am bitter about this, that I am not a fish person. Not the case. As long as we have the money, no problem. But I have to tell you… fish stores are BORING.

Each of the boys has their own little “thing” as well. In the past, we have seen Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles, Bakugan, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh… you name it, we’ve seen it.

Right now, Corey is probably obsessed with Glee and Pink. No, not the color, the singer. She rocks though, so I’m cool with that. Glee is hilarious, so again, cool with that.

For Joe, it’s his Xbox and World War II. He has read countless books on WWII, watched movies, looked at websites, but it’s educational so I’m not complaining. His video games are another story. He saved his money and bought the Xbox on his own, with the understanding that if grades fall, I will still take it away. There was a bit of an issue at the end of last year, but after a stern talking to and stricter limits set and enforced, I think he got back on track. He earned some money and recently bought StarCraft 2, apparently it’s the coolest thing ever, so we’ll see how long that lasts.

Addi is very much like Joe. He loves video games, and Counterstrike is “the thing” for him right now. Addi gets over stimulated easily, so we have to really watch him when he plays certain games, and depending on his mood, there are times we don’t even let him play at all. It’s just too much for him, but that is the nature of ADHD. Children with ADHD can have trouble focusing, but if they are interested in the topic, they can become obsessive. I will say he is getting better at understanding the limits we try to set, and though he gets upset when we say no, it is a learning process for him, and he is slowly learning.

Hayden flips and flops with his little obsessions. Right now, it’s probably going outside to play with his friends, so I won’t complain. He has a number of little friends in the neighborhood. Right on our block there are probably eight or nine little boys that all play together in some form or fashion. He has a “best” friend that he plays with almost daily, and the boy and his little sister are sweethearts. They live with their mom and grandparents, and they are also so nice. I love that he comes over to our house, sits on our couch, eats with us, and just hangs out. But Hayden also goes through toy obsessions as well. I would say right now his thing are Lego Bionicles. He LOVES them! The only issue is putting them together can be challenging, so he spends time yelling for his brothers, his dad, or, in a pinch, me to help him… PLEASE!

And then we have our baby, little Dean and Iron Man. To be honest, I’m not sure how it got started. I think it was a rainy afternoon, and the boys decided to watch “Iron Man” on Blu-Ray. Ever since then Dean has been all about “Man, Now.” He prefers to only wear Iron Man clothing, and that includes pajamas. He knows exactly where Walmart and Target have their Iron Man toys, and I admit it’s so cute to watch that we occasionally indulge him. I think we have every Iron Man action figure at this point.

I have my own thing as well - and my tastes change and evolve. Right now, I play a game called Farm Frenzy. It’s silly, and really has no point, but I like it, and it helps me relax… except for that one friggin’ level that I can’t get a Silver Star on, no matter how many times I try, how many tricks I use, or what strategy I take. Never mind, I guess it isn’t relaxing… but it’s a lot of fun!

The point is we all have our hobbies - some are expensive, some are cheap, some are educational, some aren’t - but we try to look for something positive in regards to these little obsessions the kids (and Roy and I) garner.