When Roy and I met I was going through a rough time.  My first husband and I had decided to divorce.  And he had temporary custody of our two oldest while I got my life together.  My parents were pretty supportive and let me come home.  They encouraged me while I got on my feet and helped me look for a job.  After about a week, I got a call.  I was offered the position of Assistant Manager at Books-A-Million in Potomac Mills Mall.  I LOVE books, I love to read, so this was right up my alley.   After I had been there about a month, this guy walks in and asks if my boss was around.  I didn’t pay much attention, though I remember thinking…. “Hey, he’s cute!”

A week or so later, I walk in to work and see this tall guy standing on our ladder.  He was hanging signs from the ceiling.  I admit to thinking that he might be fun to flirt with.  I went back into the office and put my stuff up, got myself together, and go out to see what needs to be done.  His name was Roy, and it was my job that day to show him around the store.  So, we hit all the different sections and as I am showing him the computer books, he drops the line that reels me in.

“You smell really good.  What kind of perfume do you wear?”

I laughed and told him, and we talked and flirted for the next few weeks.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized how cool that was.  Sure it was a cheesy line, but he said it with such confidence, as if he knew it was cheesy, but just didn’t care.  It was that same confidence that would later give me the strength to do so much of what we have done in the past decade together. Maybe it’s silly, but I draw on his confidence.  His strength gives me strength, and I hope he feels the same way.

But anyways, a few weeks into his job, he had to travel down to Florida to help his grandmother with some things.  I missed him.  We had never gone out, had never done more than talk and flirt at work, but I missed him.  He made work bearable for me in those days.  So when I saw him walking into the store two days later, I was thrilled.

“You’re supposed to be working.” I said to him, while looking down at his jeans.  Yep, no jeans in the bookstore.

“Umm…nope.  I told Debbie I wouldn’t be back until today, I just came in to get my schedule.”  And he ran into the back to get what he needed.

I shrugged, what could I do right?  I checked, and he was right, there was a notation on his application.  We weren’t busy, so no big deal.  He came out a few minutes later and told me he would see me tomorrow.

“You don’t even know if we have the same shift.” I shot at him.

“Yeah, we do.  I checked.”  He winked at me and walked into the crowd of Saturday shoppers.

Our first date was lowkey, but special. Partly because we are now married, and I look back on our courting days as a magical time in my life, but also because Roy just didn’t try too hard.  He didn’t seem to feel any need to impress me, and in the end that was the thing that impressed me the most.

Over the next few months, we grew closer.  He called me up one day.  I was off, he was working and asked me to come have lunch with him.  I had just talked to my boys on the phone and was in a bad way.  I didn’t want him to see me cry, I thought it might scare him off, that maybe it was too soon.  But he held my hand over the sticky food court table, and when I was done, he said that he would drive me down to South Carolina to pick the boys up.  And he did.  When it was time for them to go home, he took them to the airport with me, and held me for what seemed like hours as I cried.

And now twelve years later, one day sticks out in my mind. When we were dating, we tried to make sure we had the same days off at the bookstore, and on one of those days, he took the boys and I to DC.  We went to the Natural History Museum, and he oohed and aahed with the boys over the dinosaurs.  Once the kids started to complain about being hungry, he decided to take us to Planet Hollywood. We walked outside, he and Corey were in front of Joey and I.  It was crowded, people rushing to and from work and all about, so Roy took Corey’s hand.  To be honest, even today people think Roy is Corey’s biological father (Of course, he is Corey’s father by all definitions of the title, but not his biological father).  They have the same dirty blond hair, both have blue eyes and lighter coloring, so seeing this just warmed my heart.  Joey and I caught up, and I heard Corey ask Roy.

“Do you like my mom?”

“I do like your mom.  I like her very much.”

“Yeah, she likes you too.  Do you love her?”

“Yes, I love your mom.  Is that ok?”

Corey nodded and smiled, “Sure.  I like you too.  I think Joey does too.  So, like when are you going to ask her to marry you?”

I started to laugh but covered my mouth.  I wanted to hear this one.

“Well, I think that someday I will ask her, but it has to be the right time.  Ok?”

“Yeah, ok.  Whatever.  Are we there yet?  I’m really hungry.”

And the rest is, as they say, history!  We were engaged about seven months later, and married the following December.  It hasn’t always been easy, but I will say that after over a decade of being with Roy, I still get that same giddy feeling I got that first day when I saw him on the ladder in the bookstore.  We have a rather traditional marriage.  He works and I stay home with the boys, though I have coached swimming on and off for most of our marriage.  We added three more boys to the mix, hence the name of this story I am so doggedly working on… My house is full of testosterone! The Tales from Testosterone Alley!

We have fought, and some of our fights have been pretty ugly, but I can honestly say, never once have I questioned whether or not I made the right decision by marrying Roy.  There have been one or two occasions, where I didn’t know if our marriage would go the distance, but it wasn’t from lack of desire to see it do so.  On the other hand who hasn’t thought that at some point in their relationship?  I mean assuming you have been with someone for longer than two weeks, that is.  I suppose one of the strangest things about our marriage is Roy’s career.  He works from home much of the time, which means he is with me more oft than not, and you know what… I love it!  I actually miss my husband when he has to go into work in the city.  When he travels for work, I miss him terribly and admit that I have trouble sleeping at night without him next me.  I eagerly await his return, and it’s all I can do not to jump in front of the kids and the dogs when he walks in the door.

I know what your thinking… seriously?  Could she be any cheesier?  But let me say that the only reason I admit all of this so readily is because I didn’t think I would ever be in this position.  I honestly thought people that gushed about their relationships like this were full of crap, that something was fundamentally wrong with them.  I mean seriously, who stays head over heels in love with their spouse after 12 years and five kids?

Well… now you know… I do!