Ok, I admit it… I watch silly reality shows on Bravo. IF you know anything about Bravo you know what I am talking about…The Real Housewives of someplace, top Chef (Ok, not silly, but some of the chefs sure as hell are) and Bethenny Getting Married? Even if you don’t watch the shows, if you go to the grocery store you probably know that Bethenny Frankel (did I spell that right? Am I too lazy to do a search and find out…right now I am yes) got married and had a baby. On the show, her husband wondered if you will ever love your subsequent children as much as you love your first, and as the mother of five children that got me thinking.
My answer…of course! Because you love them for who they are, and no two children are alike. Sure, they might share the same mop of hair that grows too fast, and falls in their eyes. And yes they might all drive you nuts at times, but they are all different. My youngest D is only 2, but already he is strong willed! He knows what he likes, he knows where it is, and he knows when he wants it, but he is still at the age where he likes to cuddle, and what a cuddle bunny he is! H is 6 and while he was fine when D was an infant, now that D is a bit older and doesn’t need me 24/7 the jealousy is coming out-he is territorial. I am his mommy and there are times he doesn’t want to share. A is 11, and last night we decided he would be my evil minion (long story short…we decided that I was a super villian-rather than a super hero-my power making others do what I want because I am so overbearing) my little sidekick, and let me tell you…A is a pro! He can be sneaky and devious-as a mom in my mind this means he knows what he wants and will do whatever he has to do (hopefully all within legal bounds) to get it. J is almost 15 and he is my most serious boy. He likes facts and figures. He wants proof that something exists. And then there is our oldest-C is 16 and is just like me. He can have an attitude, he can be snippy and we butt heads-but he is passionate about those he loves, and when he loves he loves with his whole heart.
My boys-they are all different, but they are all pieces of my heart. They all make me smile, at times they make me laugh. I have shed tears for all of them, and with all of them. But they all hold a place in my heart, when they leave they will all take a piece of my heart, and as a mom you get to a place where you are ok with that. You are ok with understanding that there will come a time, when you won’t be the main focus of your child’s life. You HOPE they will find someone to love, have children of their own, and that you can be there for them when they realize what it is to love a child and just how enormous a gift it really is to feel that.
And then, (if you have this in your life) you will remember that you have a spouse/SO there to share these highs and lows. You have someone to crawl into bed with you, someone to wrap you in warmth and share the wins and commiserate the losses with. And you realize that you will never be truly alone, your children will grow up and (hopefully?!) leave, but you will have someone there to wipe your tears and drive the RV for you as you spend your children’s inheritance.
