I believe that most of us live our lifes in a constant state of flux-we feel good, but not too good, bad, but not too bad.  Emotions collide within us constantly, and sometimes we are left feeling drained, and emotionally beaten up.  But every once in awhile, something hits us-be it good or bad-and the feelings are so certain, so clear to us, and it is those moments we should cherish.

The other night I was laying in bed, waiting for R to lay down next to me.  D was sleeping in our room on a little pallet R made for him at the foot of our bed.  He had Croup, and this horrible barking sound was coming out of my little boy’s mouth.  When he stopped coughing, there was this wheezing sound that reminded me of a lifetime smoker, and to top it off, there was just not a whole lot I could do for him.  (After five kids, you get to know what certain things sound like-Croup being one of them, and after five kids you are still just as powerless to make it all go away)  It bothered me to know that my little boy was miserable, and this time I couldn’t fix it.  When I heard him cough, it broke my heart.  It made me mad that there hasn’t been some sort of medication developed to help little ones suffering from this.  See, a mixture of emotions, and fighting within me, all leading up to one thing-I was powerless.

And then R, came out of the bathroom.  He turned off the light and lay next to me, picking up the remote.  After a few minutes he reached out and put his hand on my hip.  In the same spot he has for years, and I felt his thumb lightly brush my leg.  He turned to me and said, “Love you.” And then went back to watching his show, all the while his hand stayed on my hip.

And in that moment, I KNEW things would be ok.  I realized that kids get Croup, and it sucks and it sounds horrible, but it isn’t something that we couldn’t handle.  I knew that if I needed help, he would be right there next to me.  And I closed my eyes and fell asleep, knowing that R was next to me, and we were all safe.

Fast forward to today, we get a call from the middle school.  J isn’t feeling well, can we come pick him up.  R walks in and said I think we are just dealing with strep.  I tossed back, “Not with D.”  He yells back, “Him too!”

I went back to picking up action figures, all the while thinking, we’ll see whose right, crap they’ll need antibiotics, strep is highly contagious I’m gonna get it now, was J kissing some girl with Strep…..See, more mixed emotions.

Then we get to the doctor.  She listens to D and proclaims he has Croup, and all I felt in that moment, the one emotion that filled my heart…….Vindication!  I was right!