Or what is romantic to you?  I think traditionally, men and women have very different ideas of what romance is.  Women want candlelight, flowers, lingerie, etc.  Men are more practical-some time alone to watch the game (or even just watching the game with them and NOT complaining that you are missing “Desperate housewives!”), remembering to buy his favorite beer, making sure his suitcase is packed for his business trip.  As I have gotten older, and the kids take up more of our time, I find myself losing interest in the outlandish gestures.  Sure, a bathtub filled with rose petals is nice, but it just reminds me I will have to clean them up later.  I would rather R cook dinner for everyone so I can help H and A with their homework and NOT try to run back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room table.

When I am sick, it’s very romantic to me that R take care of the day to day things with the house and the kids, so I can rest.

One of the sweetest things is R’s ‘off day’ (as H calls it).  He works a flex schedule with work, and every other Friday he has off.  He knows that I like his help to go to Costco, and he just assumes that day I am going to drag him around doing errands.  He rarely, if ever complains about it.  He drives me to Manassas or Fredericksburg, we have lunch, he does all the heavy lifting at Costco, and never says a word about wasting his off day.

He takes me to the doctor when I am sick, and sat in the hospital trying to entertain two little kids while I had my tubal.  When we got home from my outpatient surgery, I mentioned we needed some things at the store, so he packed up the baby and headed to Target.  (Only calling me once to ask questions!)  Because I was nursing at the time, I couldn’t take any pain killers, so R made sure to help as much as he could, even going so far as to pick up D and lay him in my arms just so, making it easier for me NOT to pull my stitches.

I am sure some would read this and think…”Gee, doesn’t sound really romantic to me.  He takes care of her when she’s sick.”  But if you know R like I do, you would see the sweetness behind his actions.  He knows me, he knows I prefer to take care of things myself.  I want things done a certain way, and rather than explain to people what I want, I would rather just take care of it my own way.  But, by stepping in when I need him to, without me really having to ask, shows me that he knows me.  He knows my mind and my heart.  He understands my moods for the most part, and tolerates my quirks.

All of that is what I find romantic.  My husband took the time to figure me out, to get to know what does and doesn’t work for me, and he uses that knowledge in our marriage.