today is a….day, how’s that?
You know, today or rather yesterday as I am writing this early Tuesday morning, has been a pretty good day. I was reading an article that says, “You, meaning me of course, choose to be happy or not.” And it struck me, why wouldn’t I be happy? My husband and my boys are all healthy, I am healthy, we have a good marriage, a wonderful home, my husband has a job he likes and is valued at, I am going back to school to pursue my dream, of course I should be happy. So, why do I feel so restless?

I have wondered more than once in the past few months if I am adult ADD or ADHD. Or maybe I am obsessive compulsive, or maybe I just have too much to do and focus to much on that instead of learning to relax and let go. Or maybe, and this is the one I believe my husband would agree with, I am a control freak. I feel that if I am happy everyone around me should be happy, dammit. And if you aren’t, I am going to fix it so that you are and you don’t spoil my good ride. (gee, when you put it like that I sound like a butthole!)

Truthfully, I think I need to learn that I can’t control the feelings of others, just as they can’t control mine (unless I let them) I have a good life, I know it and hopefully my family knows it. I adore my husband and my children and my goal is to focus on MY happiness. Since I live with my husband and children, hopefully they will see me happy and realize that our life together is good, and no matter what they are feeling they can come to me and we will work it out together, or I can simply be a sounding block.