What? I’m sure you read that title and were surprised, but here’s the thing.

I won’t always be around to pick them up. 

I’ll use school as an example.  The kids do homework and forget it at home. I’ll take it to school ONCE, after that too bad so sad.  They can explain to their teacher what happened and ask to turn it in late.  Maybe she/he will let them, maybe they’ll be penalized, maybe they won’t, but they are on their own.

Same thing with NOT doing homework.  I am very clear with the boys about what I expect.  Roy is very clear what he expects.  You don’t do what we expect? YOU will face the consequences.  

I’m not unrealistic in my expectations.  I don’t expect the kids to ace every test.  I don’t expect them to ‘get’ every subject, but we do expect them to try their best.  If their best is a “C,” ok.  But if you get a “C” because you don’t do the homework and screw around in class, we have a problem.

Teachers email me asking me to ‘fix this issue.’ Ok, I’ll talk to my kids, and if they are acting up, they will have consequences, but I’m NOT going to stand over the older three (17, 16 and almost 13) and force them to do their homework.  They aren’t hurting me.  They are hurting themselves and disrespecting their teachers, and there will be a price to pay, but I will not do the work for them.

Why won’t I push them and stand over them?  

Because, I won’t always be around.  I won’t go with them to college.  I won’t hold their hand at work. I won’t ask a girl (or boy) out for them.  Sure, we’ll empathize with them when the proverbial s**t hits the fan, but I’m not going to bail them out constantly.  Success has rewards, but failure also has consequences.

And you can either pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move forward, or you can let the failure get you down.  Roy and I will give the kids a push occasionally, but we can’t pull them along this tightrope that we call life.