1) You should always know your Target! - Roy is watching something about guns and shooting, and this little pearl of wisdom comes from the guy on the show.  ALWAYS know your target, that way you won’t shoot a family member, a friend, or a neighbor.  So, those are my options?  Shoot a paper target, a family member, a friend, or a neighbor?  (Ok, I get what he is saying, but the WAY he said it…)

2) Ivy League colleges accept people with no common sense - Won’t say who I’m talking about though…

3) My Dog is Jealous - He goes nuts when Corey’s dog comes near me, especially when I have food.  Wait… maybe he goes nuts when Corey’s dog comes near the food…

4) I am Dean’s Womey - Roy always jokes with Dean that he needs to stop kissing on his woman.  Dean’s answer to Daddy saying that is “No, she’s my womey.”  Roy said I could be Dean’s womey, but I’m his woman.  That seemed to satisfy Dean.

5) Hayden is not a morning person - And I have no patience for dealing with his whining.  EVERY morning I hear the same thing.

“No, Mommy.  I’m tired.”

“I know you’re tired, Hayden. I am too, but you have school today.”

“Can’t I stay home?”

“No, Hayden. Time to get up.”

“You never let me do anything!  You’re so mean.”

Same conversation, every morning.  It’s getting kind of old. Perhaps tomorrow I need to switch things up a bit.

6) My dishes procreate at night - I’ve said this before, but I’m pretty sure I have proof now.  I think my crockpot gave birth to five bowls last night.  Dirty dishes took over my kitchen counter.

7) December has shorter days - Now it’s winter, so the days seem shorter.  I’m pretty sure there are like 5 hours instead of 24 hours each day.  How else could it already be December 19th?

8) I am woefully behind in my Christmas shopping - But for once, I’m not stressed out.  I’ll get it done this weekend.  Roy’s off and the boy’s will be out of school.  Which means, Roy and I can hit the stores alone for some last minute shopping.  I’m actually looking forward to it!  Crazy, right?  At least if things get nasty none of the kids will be there to see my downfall.

9) Hayden stresses about his grades - He took a test on Friday.  It was about Magnets.  I helped him study, Roy helped him, and Joe helped him.  He was ready.  He asked me at least four times this weekend if I could check his grades to see if the grade was posted online yet.  Friday he asked me if there are 25 questions, and he misses one, is that still an A?  What if he misses two?  He’s in second grade!  High school is gonna be a bitch!

10) I’m old - I could be a grandmother in less than 10 years!  I think I’m having chest pains right now just having typed that… no, seriously… I am!