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Spoiled or Spoiled Brat?

Spoiled or Spoiled Brat? Are they one and the same?  Can we spoil our kids and keep them humble? Or if we give them everything we can, are they destined to become spoiled brats?

I think our boys are lucky in that Dad is a complete techno-geek.  He loves all things electronic - computers, gaming systems (handheld or otherwise), mp3 players, cell phones, gadgets, and gizmos.  If it’s new and cutting edge, Roy knows about it, and chances are, he wants one.  For the most part, it often works in my favor.  

Roy wanted a PS3 when they first came out (yep we spent $800 on it… I think), but I get to watch movies on my TV the way I should - in all its HD glory. 

The TV is a no brainer. Love it!

He wanted an MP3 player; we bought one. And when he decided he liked it, he bought me one.

When I want to upgrade my phone, he knows exactly which one I should look at to serve my purpose.

He likes expensive cameras; I like expensive purses.  He likes things for his car; I like sweaters from Michael Kors.

And this all works out in the boys’ favor too.  Well, except for the purses and sweaters… they aren’t really interested in those.  Dad wants the new Batman game, so we will probably get it at some point.  Dad is a fan of Apple, so the boys know the new iPhones and iPods will end up in our house at some point.

But have we given them too much?  Corey had a car before he even had his license.  Joe has a flat screen in his room along with an Xbox and a laptop.  Addi has a computer in his room, and the little boys - well our house gives Target’s toy department a run for its money.

“Do we spoil the boys, Roy?” I asked him as we were driving to the store one day.

“Of course! But we can, so shouldn’t we be allowed to do that?” He replied.

That sort of shut me up.  When we were first married, we didn’t have a lot - we didn’t have a lot of money, things, etc., etc… But we worked hard, and we are now in a place where we are comfortable. So if we want to buy our kids all the little things that make life easy and enjoyable, isn’t that our prerogative?  Because our kids have cool cell phones and computers, are they spoiled brats?

If you look at my baby, you might think so.  He is three, my little sweetheart, and I don’t often say no to him when he wants a little treat at the store.  On the other hand, if he is naughty or doesn’t listen, I put his treat right back on the shelf.  It isn’t an expensive item, usually five or six dollars, but if I have the money, why can’t I buy it for my child?

I give the younger boys more leeway.  They are little and still trying to grasp the idea of bills, mortgages, and budgets, but the older boys have all the ‘cool’ things out there, and I look at them with a discerning eye. And though they have all the things spoiled brats do, I don’t think they are spoiled brats.

If I tell them no, they accept it.  They might question it, but they understand that no means no.  They are gracious when given a gift - be it $1 or $100. They say please and thank you. And they treat people with respect - most of the time.  

They are accepting of other people. In fact, they embrace those that are different.  Hayden was excited to learn sign language from his hearing impaired friend last year. He enjoyed going to the library with the young man that could not play outside in the spring. And this year one of his good friends is in a wheelchair.  Addi has friends that are all shapes, sizes, and nationalities, as does Joe.  And I suppose Corey is the most accepting because, being a gay teen, he knows what it is like to be shunned simply for being who you are.

They gladly hang out with their parents and pitch in at home when asked (though some better than others!). 

They appreciate how hard Dad works to give them the life we have and all the trappings that come along with it.

Yes, we spoil our children (and if I am being honest, Roy spoils me too), but they aren’t spoiled brats!

â€"-

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