Just a post to sort of mention all my guys, so many little things have happened, so I thought I would do an update post.

ME

As I mentioned yesterday, I am pregnant.  Fourteen weeks and three days.  (can you tell I am already anxious?)  R will tell you I am just old, but so far things have been rough on me.  Perhaps I was just spoiled with the boys, very little morning sickness with all four of them, in fact with our youngest I coached swimming until I was about 37 weeks pregnant, with little to no hardship.  But this one so far has been rough, lots of morning sickness, heartburn and the most exciting part-some strange rash has taken over my body!  Not only do I itch like crazy, but I am pretty sure my husband and my kids are somewhat grossed out by it all.  Hopefully, the dermatologist will be able to tell me what is going on.

R-The Man of the House.

He is tired, I think, of hearing me scratch at 5 in the morning!  I even woke him up the other day: he threw out a “Stop it!”  I told him to “Shut up and go back to sleep.”  He hasn’t said a whole lot about the pregnancy, though I think he is excited.  Usually a rather forgetful man when it comes to household appointments, etc..he is pretty on top of my OB appointments.  I saw him waiting with bated breath when, at my last appointment, the doctor searched my belly for the baby’s heartbeat.

C-Baby Number 1

Although, he just turned 13, and in many ways is becoming a young man, I look at him and still see a tiny little boy.  He is taller than me now, and starting to fill out.  Shoulders are becoming broader, as is his jaw and every so often his voice will crack much to my amusement.  And let’s not even talk about those flippers he calls feet!  HUGE!  But he is a good kid, and I admit to being so proud of him.

J-Number 2

J is excited about starting middle school next month, frankly I can’t believe this is the same little boy I used to drop off at preschool.  He would walk into his classroom and ALWAYS turn back and wave, and tell me he loves me.  Happily neither he nor his older brother is at the age where they are embarassed to be seen with us, but I secretly dread the day that will change.  J still fights with A about every little thing, but I catch glimpses of patience surfacing, showing me that he is maturing.

A-8 year old wonder!

Today A told me he doesn’t sleep very well.  I asked him if he was ok, did he feel sick?  He looked at me and said, A temperpedic mattress system would help him sleep better (I am sure I spelled that wrong).  They are more conducive to a good nights sleep.  Of course, I had to share this with my husband, who had a good laugh over it.  A says something like this, which I know he learned from an infomercial and I am just amazed at his memory, and how he brings these things up in conversation, and then I remember the little boy running around in the yard with a stick hoping to get a bird to land on it.  I need to remember that those moments of childhood abandon are going to come less and less, and I need to enjoy them more when they do come around.

H-our baby

H is actually quite fond of telling us, and really anyone that will listen, that he is our baby.  When he is mad at me he is daddy’s baby, and vice versa.  Sometimes, we are his babies.  I worry that when the baby is born he will feel displaced.  He tells me often that I have a baby in my belly.  He asks if it plays with toys and if the baby is hungry, but he is so young I don’t want him to feel that he is being replaced in any way.  Because of this I find myself letting him get away with things that I think drive R crazy.  I let him sleep in our room, I don’t push the potty training.  I want to enjoy my baby for as long as possible, but at the same time I know it is my job to help move him along in those preschool years.

All in all, our homelife is happy.  We are all healthy (except for my nagging rash!) and happy for the most part.  All the boys are looking forward to the day we find out the sex of the baby, getting ready for school and just enjoying the summer.  R and I are busy getting ready for a short trip to Georgia to visit family and get away from it all for a bit.  Now, we just have to figure out what to do with the beast…….

on well….my life! I don’t remember the last time I posted, but a lot has happened!

I finished another season with the high school swim team….another season, another batch of kids that I will lose. I say lose because some of my swimmers will graduate. There are always a few kids that I become close too, always a few that remind me in some ways of my own children, though I refuse to believe I could be the mother of a 17 year old! It is tough for me to remember that I won’t have them on the team next year, that I will watch them swim their last race for me. But in the end, I am so proud of the high school team.

But perhaps the biggest news is that we are hoping to add to our family! in October my husband and I decided to have one more baby….we are hoping that it will be ‘natural’ meaning I will get pregnant, and in nine months or so we will have a baby…..but a part of me feels let down every month when the PMS sets in. I wake up one morning and realize….”Well, maybe next month.” Only to realize that I am getting older, and it won’t get any easier. I have to ask myself…how far do I want to push this? We originally said we would try for eight months, what if eight months comes and I am still not pregnant…do I want to renegotiate the terms with my husband? Do I want to see a specialist? Or do I accept the fact that my body gave us four beautiful boys, and it can’t do it again? My husband, my sister, even my mother (who was VERY surprised that I wanted another child) tells me I am not that old…that I have plenty of time; but I woke up this morning…only to realize four months have gone by. I will be 33 next month….IF I can’t get pregnant do I want to be 40 and still trying? Can I let this go?

Now, of course to some it would seem I am being melodramatic…but any woman that has decided to have a baby knows, when you realize that another month has gone by and you are not pregnant…it hurts. It just hurts….

On to some more upbeat news…we are trying to decide if the baby, though not so much a baby anymore, is ready for preschool. Two mornings a week…not a big deal, but I can’t imagine dropping him off with his little backpack and saying goodbye to my baby! With each boy it was hard for me to say goodbye…to put them on that bus for the first time, or to drop them off at school and realize I was not their teacher for the day. I want my kids to have every opportunity, and if we can give them even a little leg up shouldn’t we do that?

The past few months have been busy…but a good busy. I feel like my marriage has gotten stronger, my kids are getting older, and my life is getting better. I feel….blessed.

Yes, I have four boys. Yep, four boys. I am the proud mother of four boys. Let me tell you a bit about them:

C is my oldest. He will be eleven in about 3 months. Eleven going on 17. I am guessing it is about this age that boys start to ‘discover’ themselves. By that I just mean he turns into your typical preteen and rolls his eyes at just about everything I say. He wants a cell phone, can’t wait to drive and has a girlfriend. We have never met her, he does not call her nor does she call our house, but his brothers fill me in on the dirt. (which basically consists of them eating lunch together) He is a smart boy, almost too smart for his own good. Now if I could just convince him that school is as important as his video games.

J is my nine year old. He is my most thoughtful little one, and his sensitivity speaks to my heart on a daily basis. He is also the pickiest eater I have ever met! There are times when I wonder why I even bother to fix good and healthy meals for the boy. But at the same time he is so thoughtful, organized and he takes school so seriously I know I am doing something right. He is playing soccer this season and I love to see him on the field, playing with his friends.

A just turned six-my wild child. A is the type of little boy that will just grate on your last nerves, and then he will come up to me and hug me, look at me with his big, brown eyes and say, “I love you, mommy.” and all is right with the world. He is in kindergarten this year and is learning to read. I am amazed on a daily basis what his little mind can absorb. A is also playing soccer this season, and I must say I love seeing him excited about something other than cartoons and video games. He is on ‘Team USA’ not exactly “Team Dinosaur’ which was his choice, but he is excited nonetheless.

And H is my baby. Actually he will be one in about 12 days. He is starting to walk, has eight teeth and has the cheesiest laugh in the house. He is my last baby-and it is a bittersweet journey for me. Seeing him grow up and doing all these new things is so exciting, but it is also hard. I will never have one of my babies take their first step or cut their first teeth. I will never again wake up in the middle of the night for 2 am feedings. It just isn’t something my husband understands.

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